BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Childfree by choice?

If you don't mind me saying so, Your wife is being selfish. I am a female, and I have four children that are grown. One important thing in starting a relationship with someone , is honesty. If you told he that you didn't want children before you were married, then you have a right to being upset. My first husband and I both agreed to have children before we were married. So that made it a lot easier.

Cathey it is great to have someone with children support our feeling instead of telling us we are wrong or will change our minds. Thank you.

Being cf was never really a choice for me. I took being cf for granted as I take it for granted that I am female, that my name is ..., that I love in NY and that I look the way I do.

I must say though that I sometimes feel hurt by how cf are being discriminated on. I received a tubal in December last year and was so happy -- and my whole family was, but I just don't feel like being able to celebrate my happiness w/the world. Parents have the right to be proud of their children. CF people have the right to be proud of their tubal/vasectomy. Please tell me what the difference is!!!

Why do most parents behave so ignorant? I accept their choice. What gives them the right to bash on me?

I'm not cf by choice, but that's fine with me. At a very young age I was told that I would have problems in this area and now I'm 25 years old and being diagnosed with cancer of the female reproductive system. The thought of having a kid gives me the chills. I did not have a very good childhood. I met my father when I was 12, graduated from business school and moved 1500 miles away to get to know the guy and now I'm starting to not like him. He has 2 girls (my step-sisters) and all 3 of them are stuck-up, spoiled snobs and I cant stand to be around them. I have been out here for a whole year and they wont come visit me. I don't know if it is because I'm poor and dont live in a fancy place or what, but to me that gives a negative parenting image. Besides I would have to be married first before I ever thought of having kids. I do not want to raise one alone like my mother did. And marriage just is not for me, I've been engaged like 3 times and it never goes through. It's too hard to find someone who will commit to me. Besides it's hard enough in this sick, expensive, war-filled world and I've seen too many marriages end in divorce. I don't think there is a such thing as a "real marriage" anymore. Why would I want to bring another human into this world to pay $1200/month for rent and only make $9/hr?
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Sorry to hear about your cancer, I hope all goes well for you. I too don't think that marriage is for me. My partner and I have agreed that we do not want to get married. He is what I want for a life long partner and I am what he wants in a life long partner but we don't see why we need a piece of paper. I personally think that marriage is a way for the government to legally hold responsible two people for the actions of one.

My man and I have planned our lives with each other and part of that plan means not getting married and not having kids. He got a vasectomy last october but he does already have a child. She makes the relationship more difficult. When he has her everything has to revolve around her. She demands a lot of time and the only time we get to be alone is late at night after she falls asleep, when both of us are tired. Then we have to get up early the next morning when she wakes up. The only reason I bear with it is because she is 8 now and soon will be old enough to be more independent and we don't have to worry about her. Plus, she lives with her mom most of the year.

Katrinae, I really do hope your posts were a joke.

Who is Katrinae?

Hey Matt!
How did things work out with your wife, (ex-wife?)

See first page, Kat...the one who apparently came here just to troll and be snarky. I didn't realize there were so many pages to this post, so my thing ended up way at the end.

I went back and read Katrinea's posts. This poor lady has problems if she feels her sole life purpose is to reproduce. To say a woman is nothing more than ovaries and a uterus is a sad, sad thing. I don't know about Katrinae, but I for one am more than my reproductive organs. I have more to offer than my oocytes (eggs).

Also, I do want a man to travel the world with. The last thing I want from my partner is his sperm or even his money. We fixed it so his sperm never comes in contact with my body and I can get my own money so I don't need his. The only thing I want from him is companionship and love.

To say that with out having children a woman is no different from a man and that she has no purpose is absurd. It is basically saying: men are superior; women are here to give birth and nothing more; a man�s purpose is everything, except pregnancy and birth. I guess she thinks life and the earth are for the purpose of men, and their enjoyment, while women are just here to give birth to more men and ensure there are lots of men to enjoy life.

I feel sorry for Katrinea if she really believes everything she posted. I wonder what kind of upbringing she had, if she came from a polygamist family? She must be one of those women who share her husband with 3 other wives.