BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality New Age Narcissistic Mothers

Wondered if anyone has dealt with having a narcissistic mother and might have advice on how to cope and communicate?

I've been having a lot of trouble trying to get her to understand that she has to be respectful to me or I can't have a relationship with her.

If anyone has knowledge of the reasons that people turn narcissistic, that would be helpful also. I've read a lot, and dealt with many narcissists over 57 years, but still don't understand the whole personality disorder very well.

Thanks,
Val

Hi Yucca!

Love your 'handle'; got 2 majestic Yuccas guarding my East gate in the back yard! Thank you for posting this! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I found this page at Suite101; hope Janet doesn't mind me posting a link to another site....

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

This is one of many 'happy accidents' I've discovered online; had no idea that this problem was as common as it is (sad, but true). Many things seemed to make more sense upon reading this; hope this helps you to better understand these people.

y

p.s. Are you into astrology? I'd love to do her chart... <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Aries, perhaps?

Heyyyyyyyyy, watch that, Yerba!! Triple Aries here and nary a Narcisstic bone in my body....well, maybe one or two tiny weeny ones <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

hehe

I'm sorry! I don't know anything that would help with this but hopefully that article will give you some ideas. I have relatives who are challenging in other ways, I know how hard it can be to deal with them. Heather

So sorry about that extra post. Hit the wrong button.

My mother is a Libra woman. I have a Libra son (he was born on his narcissist's dad's birthday, Spetember 14, but is nothing like him) I have a daughter that is Libra also. She is our most ambitious offspring and very bright and beautiful.

I just read in 'Trapped in the Mirror' by Elan Golomb, that a child of a narcissist must wean herself from trying to understand the "need to understand" her narcissist. I'm sure that is good advice. No where is my majic wand to erase everything hurtful from my mind!!!

Trying hard.

Val

Hi and welcome to the New Age Forum, yucca13!

I don't mind anyone posting helpful links, yerbatera. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The only thing about Suite 101 is that the links take you in circles, some of them are broken, and there doesn't seem to be any concrete information on the site itself.

Here's a link I found about Narcissistic Personality Disorder: [url=BellaOnline ALERT: For anti-spam reasons, we restrict the number of URLs allowed in a given post. You have exceeded our maximum number of URLs.

I appreciate your posting the references, Janet.

Thank you for welcoming me. I'm not new to your site (I've been dropping in for years and have enjoyed reading what is posted.) I think you have some very good meaningful thoughts on many subjects.

Yes, I'm very convinced that it is narcissism. The geocities site just confirms it.

It is simplistic to say: "Don't take it personally" (I read The Four Agreements over regularly) and "just let it go". Until you have had your own mother play headtrips on you for all of your life and you suddenly go ah-hah, now I get it, I'm don't think you will understand. Empathize, yes, but not truly know the hurt involved.

Of course, ruminating about the situation exacerbates the feelings. It isn't easy to turn the thoughts off though - especially when the narcissist wants the hurt to continue.

And, yes, I agree also that discontinuing any relationship with her must be the answer. I have so much invested in trying to make it work out. I know that I can't change her, but she goes into remission sometimes, and I forget just how vicious she can be. Then, whammy, when I'm not looking she hits me again.

It is my problem, just threw it out there to see if anyone else had similar people with personality disorders to deal with.

Thank you.

Hello again,

I understand what it's like to be wounded as a child and have to eventually deal with those wounds for my own healing.

I would offer that perhaps you are operating out of a Wounded Child Archetype, and perhaps even woundology itself. I certainly understand how painful it is to experience abuse from someone who we think is supposed to love, protect, and nuture us. I honor your pain and frustration.

Sometimes we need to take steps for our own empowerment, healing and well being. I was not my intent to simplify your situation, but offering that since you cannot change your Mother, it may be more beneficial to assess what you can change about your own perspectives. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Whoopsie!

Sorry Janey! Broke my own rule RE: Merc retro; don't know if it's the generational thing, but that sounded a lot like my Arian grandmother. As a typical Sadge, open mouth insert foot! <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

:::::digging a hole that keeps growing::::::

y

LOLLLL (((( Yerba ))))

<img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I did NOT take offense!! I was playing with you for sure!!!!

Hey, you know, I've been known to shove a highheel or two in my mouth at times myself! <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Comes with the territory....

Love,
Janey