BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Stop loving evil

One can never love abeast. One can only hate. this hate hurts us more than the abuser. the goal should be to dissolve the hate and carry on with somebody who truly loves you. Love and beating never go together. Unfortunately many of us don't understand the meaning of love. Yes, there are some people, both men and women who love being beaten. That is a psychological problem for which they should consult a therapist.

I'm 46 years old and I am currently a victim of verbal abuse. My husband is an alcoholic and must have total control of everything in the house, including me. I know this and I know the position I'm in. Yes, I love him when he is "good". There are many reasons why I stay. Health insurance (I am not in the best of health), a roof over my head (I have no where else to go, I will not be another burden on my family, my parents are old and have enough to worry about and I have no friends here), financially (My husband works dor the government and makes damn good money. I cannot work as I am disabled and social security has denied my claim). I live in fear that each day my husband will find something that I have done wrong. I have cried more in the past 6 years of marriage than I ever had in my life. Not a day goes by that I haven't done something wrong that sets him off. BUT, I'm stuck here with no way out. I love my home and if I'm very quiet and stay out of his way, he pretty much leaves me alone. I'm free between the hours of 6 a.m. and 4 p.m. when he's at work, it's then that I find a little peace. We all have different reasons for staying with an abuser. Everything is not as easy as seems on t.v.. I know I'm being abused, I know my self-esteem is shot to hell, but I'd rather suffer a little name-calling and being screamed at than live on the streets and not have any medical help. Just my 2 cents.

Some people love getting abused. Something destroys their self respect. Otherwise, I am sure that a woman will walk out after she is abused for the first time. Somehow, they keep getting abused, and then try to justify their action.
those who support evil are also to be blamed. No abuser can abuse if the victim goes away.

cdmohatta,
I get so tired of hearing statements like the one you made "I am sure that a woman will walk out after she is abused for the first time." There are numerous reasons way a person, woman or man, DON'T leave. It is not loving the abuse. There are many types of abuse, there are many ways to get away yes, but each victim has different circumstances forcing them to stay. Some of us have children that we can lose if we leave. Some of us were repressed for so long that it is hard to get a job to get money. Some of us have no local family that we can turn to. Some of us are SOOO scared of out abusers that if we do leave, he/she will follow us and kill us, kill children, or take children. And for your last statement "No abuser can abuse if the victim goes away"..... this is so not true. Many many women and men have been killed after "going away". The abuse can continue. Read my article about Amy's Law. It is about a woman who left her husband and he tried to kill her 3, yes 3 times!!!!!!

I change my views.