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#131496 02/01/05 11:43 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 204
Shark
OP Offline
Shark
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 204
Hey Guys - Another Lily List!

You read over the first part - add your add on's to the list.......should be interesting with as many from my era as there are. Eric come up with something this time! Russian, Polish, US, Ukranian, for all the Mothers!

LOVE TO ALL............lily

I OWE MY POLISH MOTHER:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you


OK GUYS.....SHOOT - IT'S YOUR TURN!!

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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,765
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,765
Lily another great post to bring a grin.

My mother and grandmother taught me about WASTE.
Eat everything on your plate or the Nazis will get you.

My mother taught me all about SOUND EFFECTS.
That isn't thunder, it's only God bawling out the devil.

My mother taught me about FAIR WARNING.
Wait until your father gets home and I tell him.

<img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Robert F. Stachurski
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 72
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 72
Bob S. did your mother teach you how to be nice to others? Apparently not!!!! She must have been a *****! <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 204
Shark
OP Offline
Shark
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 204
Bob...........lily..........good ones


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