BellaOnline Forums Travel and Culture Polish Culture ERIC`S PUNISHMENT!!

Hey Guys...........Lily here!!

Eric`s punishment for yawining at my last topic about the Shroud of Torin.
Eric, you must read the following and add #14 below.........then everyone on the site can have their turn adding to the list..............

Go For It!

lily

THE LIST......LILY


MEN vs. WOMEN
>

> 1. NAMES

> If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

>2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

> 4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

>5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL

>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children.

>A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

>

>A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

>

Thanks Lily, I needed a chuckle and laugh today. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Great humor, Lily. Thanks.

Lily,

funny! I am not sure whether Eric saw it or maybe he prefers not <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Yawn............yes, Lily~

Lily, you sound happy to be a woman. Think of how susceptable we poor men are to easy scams!

WARNING!!!
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.
What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield.

While she is doing this, another person opens your
back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good at this.
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn't able to find them on Sunday.

Lilly,

Very amusing list with some very recognisable items.
Yesterday evening I saw a exellent Irish-American stand-up comedian in the Duch television show Comedy-factory. He talked about why women always win in an argument. They remember everything and use that against ya in later arguments.
Yesterday I saw that American sitcom about Housewives, and it was exellent, even better than my previous favorite American sitcoms "Sex in the City"
and "Ally McBeal". And I was alone in my admiration of Sex in the City, because no of my male friends watched it (to confronting, independant, single New York ladies?). To my supprise lot of my girlfriends did not watch it too? I just like high educated, intelligent, smart,
cultivated, sophisticated women, who are emancipated and independant. In my job I mainly work with women,
because it's in a health care group (hospitals, clinics and nursing homes), because about 75% is women overthere. Women are more social than man but sometimes to perfectionist, to the extend of being control-freaks, and to much psychology (details, details and details). Men are more direct, decision makers, confronting, less social (more solist, ego-minded) and
have more humor. In some things I prefer working with men. In quick decision making things, in heavy (construction or technical) work, in other things (where more harmony and consensus is needed) I prefer working with women, because they are sometimes better organisers, and can concentrate on three things in the same time, while I (the man) can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Conclusion:
men and women need eachother, but also need to make time for gender specific activities (women have female interests which can only be done in a female environment, and man need their male things).
Men will never win from women, even if they "look" stronger, because in the beginning they were dependant on their mother, later they became dependant on their wives, girlfriends or mistresses.
Only a few bachelors, monks, ascetics and hermits
manage to live in celibasy and solitarism.

Pieter

And even gay man have their mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, girlfriends, female colleages
and, but can live without them in a male environment. This to add to the sentance of bachelors.... hermits.

For people with English as a second or third language, this is a play on similar sounds: 'pasta' sounds like 'past the':

New Pasta Diet
===================
There's a new pasta diet--

Just walk pasta bakery without stopping

Walk pasta candy store without stopping

Walk pasta ice cream store without stopping