BellaOnline Forums Family Adoption Where is Benjamen?

On April 4,1986, I gave my handicapped son over to the
State of Maine. My son had severe epilepsy, could not
walk and
was thought to be autistic. He was born March 7,1983,
At Eastern Maine Medical center in Bangor Maine.
I attempted to see him a few times; but I was treated
like a criminal. I was not allowed to touch my son,
not even to give him a kiss on the cheek (It might
"confuse him")I had voluntarily given up custody of my
son in order to get him the help he needed- yet I was
nothing but scum as far as the social workers were
concerned. Benjamen is 19 years old now. Will I be
able to see him when he is 21? Will I at least be
given a PICTURE of my boy so I can at least see what
he looks like? I don't know. Is Benjamen still alive?
I don't know. If he is dead will I be told where he is
buried? I don't know. If you have a handicapped child, don't come to Maine- according to Barbara Walsh (Portland Press Herald)I'm not the only one in this terrible situation.

I'm so sorry you were treated cruelly by the adoption system during what I often refer to as the "dark ages of adoption".

If you haven't already, I recommend getting on every free adoption registry there is. That way if your son is looking for you........

Keep in mind, though, that for some reason your son may not search. Some adult adoptees search, others do not.

Hope this helps!

Karen
Adoption Host
Adoption @ BellaOnline
adoption@bellaonline.org

As giving birth to a disabled child gives you right to search and get his medical records. if you have other children that are disabled anyone that does medical genealogy knows that. If even if he does not search you have a right to his medical information. If I was you I would search right away!This might be upseting to adoptive parents but it is your right! I have seen to many adoptive parent think the adopte is the only one that has the right search. I have seen the closed adoption movement use us birthmother to keep adoption records closed.

Mary Mumby Ramirez
North Hollywood,CA