BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Married and on my own

I dated my current husband for seven years, never lived with him but dated him. Married him some eight years ago now, and you will not believe my story. First of all, my husband has not worked since November,prior to that, has worked off and on. He is a bricklayer, therefore makes very good money. I have never seen his check, but then again have never ask to see it. I have ask him time after time to help me with the bills, he told me that he should only pay a fourth, because of my two adopted children. These two children lived with me prior to the adoption, therefore he felt that I should pay their part. I was working out of town, I own a construction company, he was staying in my house, never paid a dime and moved in his son and future daughter in law and a pit bull dog, I got a letter from the utility company telling me they were shutting off my electric because of non payment. I had all the bills sent to me and paid them. He wanted an agreement prior to the adoption, stating that he would not be required to pay child support if anything happen between us. I finally adopted my two children on my own without him and his agreement. He knows that I worry about the bills, but yet sits and watchs TV,get's drunk at least 2 times a week, plays golf, go's on fishing trips with his friends to Canada, which is expensive. The last fishing trip he went on, he gave me $12.00 to make it for a week. I do own my own business, he tells me that because I make more $$$ then he does he just can't afford to pay anything.
As for our personal ( loving ) life we can be in the same house for hours and never say a word to each other, I frankly hear him talking but won't respond, he has never did anything but down grade me, from being a worthless mother, to a worthless cook, and not only that, I don't even have enough brains to shop correct. What really ticks me off about him telling I don't know how to shop for food, is HE IS NOT PAYING A DIME FOR THE FOOD.
If I tell him that we need something for the house, he tells me that I am nuts, that all I want to do is spend money. What Money, not his, he draws unemployment $185.00 a month by the time they take out child support for a child that this woman claimed was his. Yes, you guessed it, he didn't even fight this one, she was married and seeing five different men, but found a sucker in him and now he will pay for another eight years.
I guess the worst thing about this situation is I am still here, figure that out. Maybe it would be different if he was kind and treated me like he really loved me, but ole stupid me, I am still here waiting for what????

Have you asked yourself why you are staying in the marriage? What would your life be like single?

Susan

Susan, thank you for responding to my message, yes, of course I have, I ask myself that question daily. I think that I am to worn out to make the move, that is a lame reason, but true. I was single for ten years prior to this marriage, and I loved it. I made a bad decision, I did try so hard to make this work, but as time goes on and I get older, I just hate the fighting. You see, he wants everything he can get his hands on, although truthfully, material things are really not that important to me. We did separate for six months last year, I loved it I love spending time with my kids and sewing, we were happy, then he just up and walked back into our lives and it started all over again. He moved back in October and worked until November, has not worked a day since.
Again thank you for responding to my message

What are you still there waiting for?

There does not appear to be a relationship. You seem more like a meal ticket.

What are you still there waiting for?

There does not appear to be a relationship. You seem more like a meal ticket.

Susan, for some reason he came in drinking last night got mad at me and left, told me he was not coming back. I locked all the doors and I am having his mail forwarded to his sons, that's where he goes, and changing my number. I can't sleep I am beside myself, it was so easy, it was scary! Although he stills wants everything, but who the heck cares, I will not let him come back, I don't care how much crying he does, he is gone, gone.

He must have known you were really fed up with him.

I hope you stick to your resolve and reclaim the nice life you had when he was away the last time!

Susan

Susan, I am working on that as we speak, I want my life back, I do believe he knew that I was up to here with him. I could understand if this man would have worked and we shared anything, sometimes he did work, but he never gave me a dime to pay for anything. Oh! I will take that back he did buy groceries now and then but that ws only because he wanted me to cook for him.
He did call last night about four in the morning telling me he was sleeping in his truck, TOO BAD TOO SAD.

right

Susan, thank you for your nice response, I filed for the divorce, I do have a lot of papers to fill out, but I am getting through with it. It cost so much money for an attorney I am making a new life for myself, Thanks you