BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Stages of Marriage

I was reading recently that almost all marraiges go through these stages:

* The "We're so great together!" stage
* The "Yikes, this isn't what I thought it would be! I should have waited longer!" stage
* The "This is OK, but if only he would change a few habits!" stage
* The "I guess that's how he is, and he's stopped complaining about how I am, so we seem comfortable together" stage

What do you think? Have you been through these stages in your relationship? If you're in a particular stage, what are the issues?

I think I'm sliding out of the "change habits" and into the "I guess it's just the way it is" part <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I do still wish he'd change some habits. I want to go out biking at least once this year. And he plays computer games all the time ...

My husband and I are definately in the last stage. I've had to come to terms with his habits and his mines.

I found that over the years, I've just become less picky about things. I mean, so what if I found a 4 day old taco in his pants pocket, right?
<img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Regards,

I am at the last stage. We've stopped complaining about this and that because neither of us is about to change no matter how we've tried in the past. We're learned to just be comfortable with our differences.

Hi Lisa,

Great points! We are still negotiating and compromising, but I think we also know pretty much of what we accept and we know what we're unwilling to change.

I'd say i was at the second stage. Totally unsure and scared. I am now wondering if i did the right thing or not by marrying the person i did. We have serious underlying issues which neither of us addressed before we got married.

My husband and I will be celebrating 6 years on March 27th. For me, these stages come and go. I have moments were I am thrilled about us, then I have those I want out times too. Then I think maybe if one of us changes, things will be okay and then I realize that we are together and in love no matter what happens. I go through these stages because we have two kids that take a lot of our time. I am a stay at home mom, so I am stressed a lot. Our life is a roller coaster and I realize that these stages will change with each day.

That's a tough one... I have been married for 6 months, but I've also been with my husband in a relationship for 6 and a half years... so I'm going for... all of the above! I love my husband so much... we're in the "yay it's great" stage, but I also think, "whoa, hold up, this is too much"... and I hate a bunch of his habits... but mostly we're comfy with each other... I'm used to himby now... so, yeah, I say all of the above. lol.

Is there a stage where it seems like you grow apart and you dont "know" each other as much anymore?

There can be, especially if one of you is going through a dynamic change like going to college for a degree, or changing jobs, or a child has entered the relationship, or if a new stress has entered the relationship. The most important thing to do in this case is to keep communication going.

I suffer from severe depression, and at times very much seem like a different person to my husband, but he just tries to get me to talk, or to hold me to make sure that we know we are still in it together.

I love the 4 stages, I think they are very accurate. BUT, I think if a couple has a solid foundation of friendship and respect beneath the "we're so in love" phase, then all the other phases can be weathered through.