It's natural, Debbie, especially for women. We're just trying to work towards our ideal and we know that it is achievable.
I was terribly guilty of pointing out my husband's shortcomings to him in the hopes that he would improve. But one day, he pointed out all of MY flaws and it was humbling!
I realized how he had to tolerate quite a lot from me, beyond the criticizing! He said to me, "I love you warts and all. Why can't you love me the same?" This really hit me hard. I felt terrible that my criticizing made him feel less than lovable.
I stopped immediately. It is no longer required of him to be perfect or even better than he is now. I love him as is. As he loves me. We both have to tolerate the imperfections but as time goes on, those imperfections make us who we are and, dare I say it, are becoming quite endearing.
Unconditional love is magic, I tell you!
