Dear Jilly -
I wrote you privately too, so whatever way you want to handle this, privately or publicly, we are here to help.
You should *never* need to be uncomfortable in your own home. If this man is upsetting you, tell him to stay elsewhere, and only visit him in that other location. He is an adult. He can handle reality. If he in any way tries to pressure you, then walk away. There is no reason to have him anywhere near your home.
No matter what was said up until now, all of us have the right to change our mind and to do what feels comfortable to us in our own homes. Tell him you are no longer comfortable having him in your home, you will meet him in the hotel lobby, and that is it.
If he resists or pressures you in any way, then leave. He is clearly not ready for a relationship with you.
Send him an email telling him that, if it's easier on you. That way you lay out the new rules.
