Well, this is seeming to get worse. We used email because both my SIL and husband can be reactive and we knew it is a touchy subject so figured with email she'd have time to really read and think about this before responding. My husband emailed again saying he didn't mean to sound judgmental, he was sorry he came off wrong and that he wanted to tell her he was upset by her reaction which came off disrespectful. (laughing after daughter made racist comment)
SIL wrote back saying she did fly off the handle but she does feel judged by us and FYI did talk to her daughter who felt bad.
The problem is there is no apology whatsoever, no comment from SIL about how she came off from laughing after her daughter was so disrespectful- so we really haven't gotten anywhere.
This really is a losing situation. We are not judging our neice or SIL, we are merely stating that I felt very disrespected. With her refusal to take responsibility for her actions, let alone explain to her daughter that she should truly apologize... it seems obvious she just plain does not respect me- not necessarily for my ethnicity- just in general.
She just emailed again and invited my husband to talk on the phone with her. That will be interesting. Hopefully he will get ahold of her tomorrow!!
