Lotte,
When abuse is involved, whether verbal or physical, I think that's grounds for divorce. This is no way for you to live.
You may love him, but are you happy with him? Does he "add" to your joy? Do "you" feel loved, cared for, respected? I think it's safe to say the answer here is no.
I believe his changing was only temporary in order to keep you. His love for you is a very "selfish love." It's about "his" needs.
If you "did" compromise and have his baby, is he who you would want to be a "father" to your children?
Do you like the idea of him being the "man" of your house?
He's already treating you disrespectfully. Imagine if you have children, and he gangs up on you, always sides with the kids, and the disrespect for you gets worse.
There are good, kind, appreciative men out there, and finding a man like that is worth waiting for. Also, better to be single than with a "distructive" man. I fully think, after preparing yourself, that you should soon file for divorce. Your husband verbally abuses and disrespects you, and it wouldn't surprise me if that abuse one day turned physical. Once you let go, you can again open yourself up to a "real" man. A "real" man is kind, giving, loving and respectful.
Feel power and strength in letting go of him. Words are powerful, and our brain believes what we tell it. Speak in present tense and use no negatives like no or can't. Say, for example, "I am strong. I am calm." Take in some slow, deep breaths, and say these things to yourself. Take care of yourself through this time.
