Hi,
You are in a bit of a fix. Stop blaming yourself; the relationship is broken and requires either repair or dismissal. Seek joint counciling-there's nothing wrong with saying I want to learn more about sex to express my love and feelings for you, You forgave his infedelity SO YOU made the first move, Now he's harboring suspision? You have the responsibility of your children while putting yourself first. You found him; what makes you think you can't find another? Smell the roses honey -life is short. I hope this helps... and LASTLY do not tolerate any emotional abuse.
Nancette - Your response was just about perfect. I would only add is that the children know there are problems and it makes for a very unhealthy environment for everyone. Let me ask you a question or two Skinny Cow, if I may.
As you arrive home from being at ork or wherever, does it feel like a dak cloud is hanging over you and your home? Do you sometimes dread having to go home? Do you find yourself wanting to leave the house more and more? If you answered yes to these questions, then it is time for a change. I answered yes to them and I made a change. I am happier for it in the long run.
There are agencies in your town or city that will help you move, help you find a place, and even help pay for it in most cases.
On the other side of the coin, if you feel there is a glimmer of hope that the marriage can be saved, then by all means make it happen. I am very much for relationships working.
However, you should talk to the children privately and ask them how they feel and if they would be happy with a change. Tell them how you feel, good or bad. Allow them to be a part of the process rather than surprise them with any announcement.
I wish you the best of luck in this and it is an unneviable spot to be in. Above all else, talk with your husband about what may happen if some changes aren't made and made soon. This way, if he doesn't change, then it means he doesn't care if you are gone or not.
Good Luck and good thoughts and prayers.
