One thing I have learned is that people that are the most accusatory about something (cheating, alcohol, drugs, anything) are those that are guilty of it themselves.
If a person is committing adultery and trying to cover it up, then they will see "signs" of it in other people. Usually to justify why they are doing it themselves.
You should never feel forced or coerced into anything sexual by your partner. There is such a thing as rape in marriage - and your husband is treading a very close line.
Sex should be about love and sharing yourself - not about being being a sex toy for your husband. I know that is blunt, and I am sorry to put it that way - but that really is how your husband is treating you.
Please realize you are worth way more than this. If your husband is willing to go to counseling with you, then there is some hope for him and the marriage. If not, then cut your losses and find someone who truly loves you. You deserve better.
