what bothers me the most about this is how people are reacting. i don't know how to react to it myself. i always wanted children, couldn't carry a child, my ex and i never agreed on adoption, finally got an opportunity to adopt, and the mother changed her mind (it was after the divorce), and now i'm starting to like my life again and i'm embracing it. however, seeing this woman who did IVF several times and now has 14 children disturbs me. in a way, i'm jealous (i don't understand that emotion at all). in a way, i'm furious with her. in a way, i'm sad for her because she is trying to fill some void in her life. there are a lot of emotions this is bringing out in me.
however, i hear comments from friends of mine that really disturb me, and i don't know what to say to them. things like "she doesn't even have a husband." or "she should adopt those kids out because she's not able to afford them" (coming from a few ladies who have almost 10 kids between the two of them). other things like "she's a bad example and should have her kids taken away." i mean, if we did this to everyone who was a single mother, was poor, made a bad decision, or went through depression, would that be fair? of course not. but these ladies i hear (all of them have children mind you) are spewing such venom toward her. i don't agree with what she did. no. however, i don't know if i have the right to say things like that.
i do feel like some of y'all are saying that the dr was trying to increase his numbers. his fertility clinic had the lowest live birth rate in the nation (i read that somewhere, but i don't remember where). when i was trying to find a fertility clinic, i looked them up in my state and then looked at their success percentages by age, by fertility issue, etc. if they had a higher percentage of "take-home babies" (horrific term if you ask me), i made a note. those were the clinics i called. the one with the highest numbers refused to treat me. i think it was possibly because he knew with my fertility issues, i wouldn't be successful, and it would just damage his reputation.
i think this girl's dr knew she was fertile and would be able to carry the pregnancy. so maybe he paid her to take the extra embryos? maybe he did the treatment for free (after all, just one cycle can be anywhere from 10,000 to 25,000 depending on what you do) because it would help his numbers? he does have another patient in a hospital right now who is pg with quads. she only wanted one baby, but for whatever reason, he put more than 1 embryo back. this woman is in her 40s and is at high-risk for stroke right now from what i read.
but no matter what is wrong emotionally with her, i don't know if i agree with my friends saying her children should be taken away from her. maybe i'm just a softie though. i do want to know why dr phil didn't recommend his little pathways program to her. i think she could benefit from it. find out what is missing in her life and how to get it the right way. because what she's been doing isn't working apparently.
it's all a big mess. and it's all very sad.
