Leigh,
You are in hard place right now. I said awhile ago that I felt your husband needed counseling and I still feel that he should seek some. It is not "unmanly" as some men believe but it is hard to change their perception of that view.
Your son may have been crying out for help and he felt that what he did was the only way to get it. Understand, no one, not you or your husband are at fault. No one is to blame.
You need counseling from someone, a clergyman/woman, or a professional counselor. Ask at the hospital for referrals. Some are on a sliding scale so it won't cost much.
Tell your mother-in-law that you strongly feel that your husband needs to talk to someone. Ask her help. She seems to be as concerned for you and your family as you are.
Time is what it will take, Leigh, to resolve this. I only caution you to think about yourself also and not just everyone else. Your husband may have more problems than you are willing to handle and accept. "For better or for worse"
has it's limitations and eventually you have to do what is the best for yourself. Self sacrifice takes it's toll in many ways; depression, anger, and physical health.
Stay as well as you can. Blessings and positive thoughts for you and your family
