When someone asks you,

What do you do?

Are you joyful and proud with the response you give? Or do you hedge, or feel uncomfortable with your response?

I am quite fortunate; I feel quite joyful when I talk with people about what I do. I love BellaOnline and what we achieve here, that we help people learn about writing and thriving on the web and we help charity at the same time. It makes me quite happy, and I'm proud to share the news of it with people I meet.

I pondered it some more and I suppose the question I *used* to feel uncomfortable with was what my degree was in. I always felt great shame when someone asked me that, as I dropped out of Worcester Polytech Institute after only a year. And I also felt upset that I had been accepted by MIT but my parents wouldn't send me. My father felt it was a waste of money and wanted me to go to UCONN instead. So that question used to stir up a wealth of unhappy feelings in me.

So finally I buckled down and restarted my degree at Northeastern, and I only have 11 classes more to go. I am taking four starting right now in the fall semester. So I graduate in the spring. That makes me very proud because it has been quite challenging to handle the full course load and everything else I'm doing. My finances have gotten extremely tight and I've had to think about stopping the classes a few times. But I have persevered, and I feel quite proud that I'm nearly there.

So that is a good thing too, that my response to the question used to be a quite sad one, and now it's a quite happy one .

I feel proud that I teach children who have had an extremely difficult time in school. I help them discover their inner learner (at least on good days) and I persist, even when things get incredibly tough. I'm good at my job, and I love the kids, but sometimes I just get weary.

BellaOnline is my joy. Some people go to gamble, others go to movies, and I write. My goal is to transition from teaching to full-time writing over the next 5 years. It is still a thrill when a site like India Times or Forbes picks up one of my articles.

Recently, I bought a domain name. It is Live Well with ADD. I am thinking about what I want the site to look like and what content that I want to feature. This summer I will find a host company and start building the website.

I feel proud that I gave up my former "title" to pursue my own dream. I am happy to say I am a "Freelance Creative" or "Freelance Writer" .. "Freelance creative" kind of embodies everything because I do web design, I write, make soaps, restore old photos, and do graphic arts . Writing is my major love though.

Connie - that is fantastic, that you are living your dream and making progress to have it be even better. Congratulations!

Christin - I love the idea of Freelance Creative. You are indeed multi-talented and it shows!

I love this thread! In fact, recently I was at a gathering and someone actually asked me that exact question. I was shocked and I literally stuttered the "I used to ...., but now I JUST..." answer. I was disappointed in myself for not being more openly proud of what I do. I am a fine arts photographer (and just finished hanging three local shows,) I am working on an advanced degree, and I am a full-time parent to boot. I grow food, trim horses feet, run a household, and teach rock climbing. I still don't know why I didn't speak more proudly of my life. I am fulfilled and happy and I AM proud of my life. I was just feeling how unconventional it was in a room full of conventional humans.

p.s. I just ordered the Fire Starter Sessions

Kerry - it is so true that we can sometimes be caught in feeling we are "not taking the socially accepted path" in life. Kudos to you for seeing that you *are* doing amazing things with your talents. Congratulations on the shows!

I recently went to a barbecue with my husband's work colleagues and before we went I gave a lot of thought to what I would answer when asked "What do you do?"

I usually say, "I'm an Internet Marketer, I make money on the Internet." Because that provokes more discussion, but I was wondering if saying "I'm an author" would be an interesting answer. I'm slowly moving toward being a professional organizer and people always want tips with their own clutter problems.

But alas, no one asked me. I find as soon as they find out I have 4 children, no one even asks what else I do. To myself I am more than a mom, but others see me as "just a mom" and I find that quite sad.

It's funny how we need to pigeon hole ourselves with a single title when we do so many different things. I want to say that I am first and foremost an appreciator of life, but that gets weird looks so I say that I am an online content provider.

Yet, I really am a wife, mother, substitute teacher, crisis hotline counselor, entrepreneur, caretaker, writer, author, dream interpreter, clairvoyant medium and student. But rattling off that list elicits weird looks, too.

I'm thinking about returning for my third degree. I have a BA in journalism and an MA in Education. Yet, for years Tina, I was also "just a mom." That was my proudest and most gratifying--and most important--job ever.

Tina - it's interesting how people put people into categories. We are all so many things, and that's wonderful! Maybe you could wear a button that says "I'm an author!" and that would encourage discussion . Or if it was a casual get-together, you could get a t-shirt done with a book cover on it and your name.

Lori - I do imagine that having an "elevator speech" is a good thing. I imagine if we wanted to we could probably talk for hours about all the things we've accomplished in life, which is certainly wonderful, but that's probably not good as a conversation starter.

So the interesting challenge is to distill the most important things down into a quick description, and then of course as you talk more with a person you can share your other interests as well. Which then has the interesting question of what ARE the most important things? And why?

So many upbeat responses! I think it's great when people have a passion for what they do - it comes out when they talk to people!

What do I do?

I spend my days helping people to realize their career dreams. In other words I am an HR Manager who spends her days, not only recruiting and approving payroll - but I coach and counsel staff. I have a box of tissues on my desk, but nothing makes me happier then to see someone finally "get it." or to mentor and coach people into becoming management. My love for helping people to succeed carries through to all of my outside activities -- in what I write and also by being President of the Board HRA-NCA (DCSHRM). I'm also on several committees in the County I work for and am a certified trainer for the IPSLEI leadership program.

But above that I'm a twice divorced mom with three wonderful kids and a grandchild - and guiding them through life, being there to hold their hands when they hurt and also to celebrate their success truly defines who I am.

Wow, all of you women are very impressive! I don't know why any of you would hesitate to say proudly what you do! However, I guess I do understand that feeling of not being good enough. Or in my case, of being thought to be an imposter, if that makes sense. I'm a writer, and I'm published. But when I tell people this, often they ask, "Have I read anything you've written?" I always think -- how would I know what you've read! :) So I hesitate, because I think people don't take me seriously if I'm not as well known in the field as, say, J.K. Rowling!

This is my most dreaded question. I feel like it is really nosy and personal. I'd rather be asked something unusual, like, "if you could be a bird, what kind would you be?"

Anything but the "let me fit you into what society says is acceptable to judge."

People should be proud of whatever they do, if not, why do it?

Some people are cruel. They feel better about themselves when they criticize and judge others. I think it's their problem, not mine. I have always wondered where the cruelty gene came from.

The "what do you do" question is so traumatizing for me that I often discuss it with my case manager. It really is nobody's business what I do. I don't see why this is an acceptable question to discuss with strangers.

I've even made up a 'distraction' technique so i don't have to answer this at all. I tell people I am living on a beach in Margaritaville. I get to laugh, they usually laugh, and then hopefully they move on.

A few people persist and and then I have to try really hard to not to squirm and say, "I don't like talking about it," or worse, "that's a bit personal." I never know what to do in these cases and it usually comes out wrong.

There has go to be some kind of less invasive way to get to know people, something a whole lot more creative than the knee-jerk "what do you do?" Why do I care what someone does? That doesn't make them a person. I'd rather know what they do in their spare time.

I swear I don't write these things to be contrarian. It just shows me how differently I see the world, for good or for ill.

Dear Jilly -

We are all different people, and that is great! It makes the universe interesting.

I think for many people that they feel the way to get to know a person is to learn what they like to spend their time doing. So they ask. The person who responds gets to share whatever they want to about what they like to do. So it is completely up to the responder to talk about whatever aspect of their life they are in the mood to share. They have complete control.

Maybe it would help to look at the "ritual" a little differently? They are usually not trying to judge you or pigeonhole you. They are simply interested in a new human being. They are curious. Curiosity is great!

So share something you love. "I love researching frugal living options to help the world save money". People would adore that idea! Talking about what you love to do should be, I think, core to human interactions. It shares that joy.

I think if you start a conversation with an assumption that the person is a fun, curious entity who wants to learn about your passions in life, then that helps!

But I don't want to talk about it at all. It's personal. And it will lead to more questions, which I will feel impelled to answer. I don't like talking to strangers about my life. it is a source of stress.

The Margaritaville thing I don't mind saying, for some reason, because of the fun fantasy element, i guess.

Dear Jilly -

If your goal is to not talk to the stranger about your life, then it seems you have hit upon the perfect solution! It's a fun answer, one they will enjoy.

So, just to clarify a bit, when you had said "I'd rather know what they do in their spare time" does that mean you'd enjoy talking about that? Or do you mean that this would be a slightly improved but still painful topic?

I like to hear about people's hobbies, just not what they do for money. It's a trigger for me. But if they like to make stain glass windows, travel in europe or grow orchids, that sounds interesting.

What people do NOT do for a living seems like a stress-free topic to me.

I agree, Jilly. My daughter struggles with this question. Because of her age, people assume she goes to college but she doesn't. She also doesn't have a job. For a while now, I would intervene and tell people that her focus on on getting well as she was receiving treatments for her disorder. That was a conversation stopper.

But now that she has stopped treatment, she is having the same problem. I tell her that she is now my personal assistant and we have a home-based business (true) selling self help books. Internet businesses are popular now.

So Jilly, if you were a bird, which type of bird would you be?

Hi Lisa, when people ask �What do you do?� this is what I think they really want to know:

What Do You Do?

I am new to Bellaonline and am in transition from homeopath to writer...Woohoo! I am loving the shift from caring for ill people to writing about my twenties when I was a war journalist in Afghanistan after the Soviet invasion. I was so excited to write I wrote a second book this year called, "The Four Methods of Journal Writing: Self-Transformation through Memoir" inspired by my over 30 years of journaling and the new memoir I wrote:) It's great to find you guys... Thanks!

Welcome! Wish you all the best best in the transition to 'writer'. You'll get lots of tips, advice and support on BellaOnline. (JOY)

For all my grumblings about being pigeon-holed into one "role" I just read how focus is vital to success. Maybe that is precisely what is holding me back: too many interests. Scattering my energy is not a good idea.

So now it is time to define myself in a more focused fashion. What do I do?

I think one topic which is coming up here is that an assumption is made that "what do you do" is about money. It doesn't have to be!! It can be about what you LOVE to do.

If someone asks me "what do you do" I could say "I love to kayak". It is absolutely true!

So I think it might help to shed all connections with money or income. The question is about the activities you do. We can answer from the heart And that is a perfect answer!

Would a nun in a convent answer about money?

Lori -

I believe it is about a balance. If you have just one single interest you could burn out. If all I did all day every was kayak, that might be too much for me. But I like to kayak sometimes, and write novels sometimes, and do yoga sometimes, and so on. Now the other side of it is I don't do yoga once a month, kayaking once a month, Wii dancing once a month, and 80 thousand other things once a month. I do have some consistency with the things I do.

So I think there's a middle ground. I love having origami paper, and paper crafts, and bath salts, and other creative things to play with. That is fine. At the same time, I have some central themes that keep me grounded.

So the question is perhaps are your interests in the range of 20 items - or 2,000 items?

I usually reply "When"? since I have a steady job with the council, write on a variety of things, am deeply involved in following the Pagan path, am a qualified hypnotherapist, masseur, counsellor, and reflexologist, and am constantly expanding my skills base.

Dear Ian -

That is great that that answer works for you!

I think several of the posters here are feeling that there are some areas of their life they want to share, and others they do not want to share. A "when" answer opens up the possibility that they could be asked about an area they don't wish to share.

So by answering with the things they do that they enjoy sharing, they take control of the direction of the conversation, and guide it in a direction they enjoy .

I think the "What do you do" question is really unwritten code for "how do you make a living?"

I've tried things like "go camping and hiking" and people don't accept that. They want to actually know what I do to make monies. I've had people dog me for real answers. And that really isn't anyone's business, or something I enjoy talking about.

My response to that is to talk about wealth magick and the interconnectedness of all things in the style of "Dr, Kananga" in the James Bond film 'Live and Let Die". It's great fun watching the questioners' eyes glaze over!

Well whenever I get asked this question, I immediately answer that I'm in sales for AT&T which is true however it's funny how this is immediately an "accepted" answer for people yet it is not something that brings me joy. I can't stand the 9-5 hustle and bustle that comes with my "job".

I am just getting to a point in my life where I'm doing the things necessary to break from that and work with something that I"m passionate about.

So for now my answer is that I work for AT&T, I go to school (working on a Legal Studies degree) and I'm raising 4 kids.

Most people I run into are quite happy to have the "what you like to do with your time" response to the question. I think especially with the rough economy, that forcing someone into a situation where they have to say "I was laid off and nobody will hire me" is quite poor manners. So far I haven't run into someone who is like that. But I can certainly also imagine that some people ARE like that. Even more than that, maybe in certain circles those people then attract other like-minded people.

So it absolutely could be that the groups I hang out with don't ask questions like this - and that in other groups it is all they talk about.

For example if I went to my yoga class and we asked each other what we do, we would talk about gardening and birding and such. It would be a question about the person as a human being and their interests.

But maybe, just to stereotype for a minute, if I went to a banking convention, they would all be talking about their job and promotion path and so on.

So then that's a great question. What if you get cornered by someone who is income-earning-path obsessed? What if that is what they want to know and they are tenacious-like-bulldog?

For me, I would see this as an entertaining personal challenge, because my way of viewing the world is so different than theirs. I would take it on as a fun mission to see if I could tweak their view of the world, even slightly. So I would become even more creative in ways to show them that their ranking system was inapplicable to me, and that they'd have to put me into an "other" category.

My hope would be that if they ran into this a few times they might start to realize that the "other" category was one that people *could* belong to.

Just like Ian said - if they started to press me about money, I'd go off on a tangent about how a life without a focus on money is blissful and serene .

I feel happy to make others happy. I help peoples who have any issues with clutter and help to free yourself from what is keeping you from living the best life possible. I love to do this,and i feel very happier when anyone asked me what do you do.

Hi Ian,

Re: What Do You Do ?

I think that "When"? is a great answer. After all, as you say, people have so many facets to their life (work, social, business, etc).

Joy

In fact, I'm uncomfortabe with my response. But I'm young, I will give a comfortable response in the future.

Hello Everyone,

OH MY! I have only just found this thread and what an interesting read it has been. I have a lot to say of course because "What do I do" is I Talk a lot - and love it. But to start, I thought I would just say just two things.

There is a quote attributed to Abe Lincoln which is

"Whatever you do - be a good one."

I have made this my personal motto for the year 2013.

And second, Jill said in one of her posts way back somewhere

"Okay, start your engines Ladies!"

I love that saying, took it to heart immediately (THANKS Jilly)and whenever I am feeling blue I think of it and say to myself "Hey Lestie, start your engine NOW!"

"The Universe favours action" is another favourite personal exhortation.

I am thrilled to be in such company and say thanks to you all.
Best

Hi Omily, feeling comfortable with your response generally correlates with maturity. However, if you know what the other person is really asking, it's much easier to answer in the way I mention in the article above. (JOY)

Hi Lestie, delighted to have you join the Self Development Forum. Many thanks for your feedback and quotes. (JOY)

I LOVE the idea of "why do you ask" Joy! What do you do is so often just a way of opening a conversation and somehow one feels that a real answer is not expected. Susan Jeffers used to suggest a different question, ie "what do you like to do?" which can open up a new path and lead to a real conversation.

Lisa,

I used to feel the same way for years, and when I finally got my degree I felt better too. I'm actually considering going for my doctorate but not for a couple of years now because I need to work for a bit and save money. I'm so happy for you to get this finished. I know HOW GREAT it feels to get that degree in hand. Are you going to walk across the stage? If you've not decided I HIGHLY recommend it.

I'm proud to say what I do every day. But, I do struggle to explain it. I've worked on the Internet for many years, since before it was as we now know it, and it's always been a real struggle explaining it especially as my title has changed with the times.

Today, I define myself as a Content Strategist. I help clients decide what content they need, locate writers, or write the articles myself based on the keyword research, etc... but when I tell someone I'm a Content Strategist, their eyes glaze over. Or, they ask and I explain. Of course in certain circles they do get it!

Yes but then that is an entirely different question not so.

As an always interested Recruiter (in my working years) asking someone "What do you do" in terms of making living was nearly always the next question to "how are you" in opening any conversation. Guess we were always ready to recruit or speak to all in terms of careers and jobs and all and all all the time!

In general I think it will be a long time if that question ever drops out of somehow defining a person. Being a medical doctor is different from being 'in advertising' or 'a clown'. I don't-didn't judge positioning; I just used the info that was forthcomng to carry on the conversation and then would most often offer that I was in recruitment (given that I was not asked first!)

And then there are those people who are multi-careered ... like the medical doctor whose parents' untimely and tragic death made her take over a multi-million property-realty company or the conveyancing legal expert who suddenly became a garden nursery owner by getting married to an horticulturalist!

What a great topic this is to explore...

Cheers now,

Stephanie -

I'm going to have a private ceremony with my family. I am quite shy and the public one would be enormous amounts of stress for little gain. I would much rather have just my family and friends in a small gathering to celebrate with me

Stephanie -

Every marketing event I attend hammers at the importance of having a compelling elevator speech. A way to describe your quest in life in a short, easy to understand way that is enthusiastic. So it doesn't have to be a "job" - it can be whatever it is you want to share with someone else about yourself.

Maybe we can brainstorm descriptions for you, to help you perfect that! There must be some way to convey the fun things you do.

Lestie -

I agree that it's not even just what they do but how they answer that helps to define them. Imagine if you asked a young 20-something person that question.

Person A responds:
I'm a waiter and my life sucks. I hate being a waiter.

Person B responds:
I'm a waiter in a fun local diner where I get to meet the locals, while I work on my dream of becoming a full-time actor. I'm building my network!

So both are doing the exact same thing, but the sense you get of them as a person is quite different.

I am refining what to say:

"I am an online content provider, focusing on non-fiction, self-help articles and ebooks."

Maybe I just need to accept that I am odd, and don't like small talk with strangers/acquaintances at all.

I think I am actually incapable of small talk if I am sober. Which is sobering. But it's still good to know these things, and just try to avoid talking in person to people I don't know in the first place.

So I actually feel happy to realize this, and not push myself into uncomfortable situations in the first place.

Hi. I am Selene and am very new at Forums, so please forgive me if I seem a little lost. This looked like a very good forum to start with, so I thought that I would try it out. I have been an Accountant since I graduated from University, but never ever enjoyed work. It was just a means of financial stability. I always read with envy, and maybe was a little skeptical, of people who change careers, or find their true passion. However, recently I just might actually be so lucky. I have started this Online Fashion Website and am really enjoying what I do. Work is no longer boring, and I am always gravitating to the computer and searching for stuff to update my site, as well as my FB Business Page. I have found that there is really such a thing as a passion for what you do, and I am very lucky to have found it. I just hope that my website proves successful, as it has just been launched - but at least I am enjoying it :) Cheers everyone

Hi Selene.

Re: What Do You Do ?

A warm welcome to our Self Development Forum!

You mentioned being “a little sceptical” of people who change careers or find their true passion. Yes, things have changed dramatically over the last 10 years or so. ‘Proper jobs’ used to be 9am to 5pm working for an employer. These days it’s not abnormal at all to change careers several times before retirement, and of course entrepreneurs never retire.

It is also wonderful that you have found your true passion: few people realise what really makes them tick. Wishing you all the best with your new website. Keep checking into our Self Development forum.

Joy

Lori - that sounds like a perfect thing to say. People understand that completely! And then they can ask about whatever self-help area they're interested in. I think most people have something they want help with

Jilly -

It's not odd at all - a ton of people have challenges with small talk. There's a whole series of books to help people get over that hurdle .

On one hand it's good to know this is a strain for you and to account for it accordingly.

On the other hand, relating to strangers is a critical part of life. The only way to make new friends, to build new relationships, and to integrate into a new location starts with that small talk. So it's a good life skill to at least be "neutral" about it. That is, it's going to happen. It can be avoided. So it's best if it is at least something that is tolerated, vs something that is high-stress-causing.

hey, i'm so glad that you find your passion in your work,hope this passion will follow you in the following days.

Hi Selene, I'm new to this forum as well, and your post immediately caught my eye. I'm a tour operator, I accommodate group tourism to Israel (where I live). I used to like what I did, but now I'm very tired of it; I no longer want other people to dictate how I should work, when I should get up in the morning, and definitely not have a job make me feel bad or even threaten my health. I've been dreaming of becoming my own boss for a while now, outside tourism, but remain too worried that I cannot afford to take the risk. I am very interested to learn how you got started with your fashion website; because I would also like to set up an online business, but just don't know where or how to get started... My interest is second hand, vintage and antiques items...

Hi Sandrina,

Re: What Do You Do ?

A warm welcome to our Self Development Forum!

Starting an Online business is very easy these days. On BellaOnline you'll find lots of different sites that can help you with all aspects of working from home.

Doing something different or new always seems risky at first. Very often it's the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone or going into unknown territory that stops your own success.

One of the best ways forward is to ask yourself what is the worst that could happen if you took a certain step. If you can live with that risk then just go for it.

JOY

Hi Joy. I have now become a Business Owner of a Fashion Website called eZone Fashion and I have a FaceBook Page called EZone Fashion as well. It has been tremondously fun, and I have been really enjoying it, updating my page, setting up my website ( even with all the HTML confusing language :) and all. I would be glad to give you a link to my websites but I do not want to violate any rules. You could google or search me- same AVATAR, or send me a message at seleneml@pacific.net.sg. Thanks for accepting me to this forum group. I hope I can meet more people through this :)

Hi Sandrina

Hi Sandrina, I will be very glad to give you some pointers even though I am very new. Please email me at selenelim8@gamil.com or seleneml@starhub.net.sg if you want to contact me, so as to ensure I don't break any regulations here

sorry Joy.I just realised I gave the wrong email address. That was the email I had been having for years, but the service provider no longer wans to support residentila emails. My email is seleneml@starhub.net.sg or selenelim8@pacific.net.sg thanks again

Dear Joy Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! The topic at hand is "What do you do?", whether or not this is the correct question to ask, and if so, how to appropriately reply to it. I think the question is indeed appropriate, but follow-up queries might be: "Do you like what you do?", and "What would you like to do?", which would open up a broad avenue for surprising replies... In my case, I no longer like what I do. I hate going to work too early in the morning, and coming home too late at night. I hate being disturbed during my evenings or weekends (the latest was a phone call at 02:30, [b]this AM[/b]). I could go on, but that would be redundant ranting, let's just say that I do what I do because I'm good at it, and it pays the bills (just), but I don't like my job. Now you ask "What is the worst that could happen if you took a certain step?". Well, that's exactly what is holding me back. I have been a single Mum for almost 17 years now, will soon have to see one of my kids through medical school, so I can't afford to lose my income, not even for a short while. If that weren't an issue, I might just open a physical business and get it over with. On the other hand, I've lately been remembering how freeing it was to get divorced (not promoting divorce here, please stay happily married if you can), [b]after thinking about it for 6 years[/b], and how many people told me then that I suddenly radiated happiness. I'll check out any leads that I can find, and again, thank you for taking the time to respond! Sandrina

This is still a stressful question for me. I went out with Erin, the RV Editor, last week, and we met some people around a beach fire. They asked me what I do.

I panicked and starting making stuff up. For the rest of the evening, I was anxious.

Hi Jilly I once left a company because (among other issues), my job wasn't outlined at all. On my business card it said "coordinator", while in reality I provided assistance to every single department in the office (events organiser). After one year I asked the CEO to give me more responsibility, and to give me a proper title, and he refused. I left then, because I went through similar anxiety issues when asked what I did. I was even embarrassed to hand out my business card, because then people would always ask what exactly it was that I did, and I would find it difficult to explain. I'm also the worst liar in the world, so just inventing something was not an option... You should probably sit down with yourself for a while, and write on a piece of paper what you ought to say next time you are asked that question.

[quote=Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]I am quite fortunate; I feel quite joyful when I talk with people about what I do. I love BellaOnline and what we achieve here, that we help people learn about writing and thriving on the web and we help charity at the same time. It makes me quite happy, and I'm proud to share the news of it with people I meet. [/quote] Well I am very impressed and that want to thanks to share all this information with us.It will really help us to get the right things.

It's very useful to see that there are indeed people who feel good when they talk about what they do. That's only possible when you love what you do, when you feel that you make a difference, or when what you do is very creative. My first job in tourism was in the tourist office of the city of Antwerp. I love that city, even if I no longer live there, it has so many beautiful spots and stories and anecdotes. Talking to the tourists and advising them where to go and what to do to make their visit really worth while, was quite rewarding. I loved that job, and had I not moved to a different country, that is probably where I would have stayed for the rest of my career. I was proud to say what I did. What I do now is quite different, although I have no problems telling people what I do: I am a tour operator, I bring groups of tourists to this country. But I no longer feel proud of what I do, because I no longer enjoy it. It's become a very administrative task, and since I work in a big company, there is just too much paperwork involved. Writing would be a good alternative for me, but I live in a country where English (or Flemish) is not the first language...

Hi Sandrina. I have been trying to memorize what exactly to say when asked this, but i keep getting flustered and forget. I should just be honest and say "I am not comfortable with the question."

Well Jilly, I can't say that I would recommend memorising an appropriate reply. Last summer I did a course on starting a business, and one of the assignments was to create an "elevator pitch", memorise it, and then do it in front of the class. No one did it, and frankly, even though I know that it exists in the modern-day business world where every opportunity to network has to be utilised to its full potential, I will never be part of something as superficial as that. On the other hand, if I asked someone "What do you do?" (to me that's a perfectly honest question, as I am always sincerely interested in everything about a person, where they are from, where they were, where they are going, children and family, etc, etc...), and the person would tell me they're not comfortable with the question, I would probably imagine that they do something lowly or shameful, or that they are in the secret service or something like that...:)

Lol, about lowly or shameful. I can see that. They are welcome to think that. Or about the secret service. :-)

Mainly, I don't like being asked questions by people I don't know. I have Aspergers and face to face interaction is stressful. My go-to response is utter honesty, and that translates into saying awkward things like, "I don't like being asked questions by strangers."

You could always dodge the question, say something like: I'm not here to talk shop...? Although having people suspect that you might be a spy or a treasure hunter or something like that is really funny... :)

Re: What Do You Do ?

Another way of answering this question (which also gives some rather interesting and funny answers to break the ice) is:

"What do you think I do?"

Yes, indeed she could do that, but that would probably open up further discussion that Jilly may not be comfortable with?

Hi Sandrina, I wasn't replying to Jilly. Regarding my article - What Do You Do ? – I was just adding another way to answer that question. [Joy]

Hi Joy, sorry that I misinterpreted that! Perhaps I should indeed start asking people that, and find out what I look like I could be doing... :cool: