BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development how do you improve yourself?

Jase and Holly

Thanks for the support, it's nice to know that I am not alone LOL.

The most fun thing to do is look at everything that is wrong (or what you consider wrong) with yourself, then start devising a plan on changing those aspects of your life =) Self-improvement is crucial in living a meaningful and happy life! Live for yourself, then live for others.

easier said than done, for some of us.

Yes, and i think there is something important to be said for accepting and loving ourselves as we are.

The psychologist Carl Rogers said,

When I accept myself as I am, I change, and when I accept others as they are, they change."

I am always trying to improve myself, and i think probably most people who come to this forum are also trying to do that. I guess what i try to do, is to do both at the same time, and that's tricky.

It takes a sort of funny perspective. If i look at what i am doing now as "wrong," then i don't think i'm accepting myself very well. And sometimes i do feel that way. The past couple of weeks for instance, i have been focusing so much on how i feel i fall short of where i should be. This isn't helpful to changing. It's just another way of beating myself up.

What do you guys think? How do you encourage yourself to improve without feeling badly about how you are now?

Self improvement isn't about making ourselves feel bad about where we are. It's about taking who we are now and making ourselves even better. But it distresses me terribly to hear some of you are thinking there's anything "wrong" with you.

Everybody needs to start with the perspective that you're okay already, as in the book "I'm Okay, You're Okay" which not only teaches self-acceptance but acceptance of others as well.

Then think about what else you'd like to be in life or do with yourself, and add that.

I'd like to hear what types of self improvement goals you all have--what is it you'd like to work on? Oh, wait--I just noticed there's already a thread for that. See you there.

And I love you all just the way you are!
Barbara

Hi, Barbara! I love your suggestion about starting with the book, "I'm okay, You're okay", then think about what else we want to do. It is good to remember that once in awhile!

Trish

Practice and more of that.

Well, it gets a bit challenging at times, particularly when people you love are only pointing out your faults and not appreciating your efforts.

I know i "shouldn't" be bothered by such criticism, but when you love and respect a person a lot, their harsh words can be crushing, particularly when you've been trying to give your best. So what do you do when it's like this?

Holly. It is something to do with the brain and our fight or flight response. But when something bad happens (or a fault) the brain gets washed in a hormone and thats implanted into our memory core. This isn't the same for good things.

So it is easier to point out someones faults and the things they do wrong than to remember the good things.

So when someone remembers something good, take it as a blessing because they are rare.

I don't know much about hormones or brain chemistry, but i do know that our thoughts can influence our bodies. I'm just looking for things i might do so i don't react so strongly, or can recover more quickly.