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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142
Koala
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Koala
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142 |
My nephew started school....so hope you like the jokes!!! all kid friendly!!!!! I hope....
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142
Koala
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Koala
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142 |
haloween jokes part II
How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately
What do zombies like to eat at a cook out?
Halloweenies
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends
Did you hear about the cannibal boy that was 8 before he was 7?
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher
What does a cannibal get when he comes home late for dinner?
The cold shoulder
What does a child monster call his parents?
Mummy and Deady
Why did the Cyclops have to close his school?
He only had one pupil
Which monster likes to fly kites in the rain?
Benjamin Franklinstein
What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let's wrap this case up
GHOSTS
What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries
What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A boo boo
What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
Peekaboo
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts
What do ghouls eat for breakfast?
Ghost toasties with evaporated milk
What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon & slime
What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handful of sheet
What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A Boo-ick
What did the mother ghost say to her son?
Don't spook unless you are spooken to
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo
Why did the ghost pick his nose?
Because he had boogers
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boojeans
Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?
At bootiques
What ride do spirits like best at the amusement park?
The roller ghoster
What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot
What fairy tale do ghosts like best?
Sleeping booty
What kind of spirits serve food on a plane?
Airline ghostesses
What kinds of ghosts haunt skyscrapers?
High spirits
Where do ghosts go swimming?
The dead sea
What's the difference between a fisherman and a sick ghost?
One catches his dinner, the other one loses it
What did the TV. news reporter say to the ghost?
Everyone dead! Boos at 11
Why is a haunted handkerchief so scary?
Because it has boogers
What kind of footware do ghosts from Texas wear?
Boots
What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?
A Poultrygeist
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,582
BellaOnline Editor Wolf
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BellaOnline Editor Wolf
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 5,582 |
Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from jail?
A call over the police radio said." Attention all units. Be on the look out for a small medium at large."
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,209
Koala
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Koala
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,209 |
hahahaha. Those are good ones! I like the Halloween theme. I'll see if i can "scare some up" too!
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142
Koala
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Koala
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142 |
HAHA you are both funny!!!
why did the little boy not dust under the bed?
He wanted to play with big dust bunnyies!!
What did the little girl say to her mom when her mom told her to put on a shirt with sleeves?
I have the right to bare arms, the law says so!!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,209
Koala
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Koala
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,209 |
And that is what you could call a double entendre.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142
Koala
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Koala
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142 |
lol
Q. What has four legs but can't walk?
A. A table.
Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?
A. To get to the Shell station!
Q. What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A. You crack me up!
Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
Q. Why did the elephant eat the candle?
A. He wanted a light snack!
Q. Why is the letter "G" scary?
A. It turns a host into a ghost
Q. What has 4 eyes but no face?
A. Mississippi!
Q. What did the spider do on the computer?
A. Made a website!
Q. What letters are not in the alphabet?
A. The ones in the mail, of course! I didnt get it either!
Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 789! Did I tell this one before?
Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. Because it felt crummy.
Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!
Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A. A little horse
Q. What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese
Q. Why did the sheep say "moo"?
A. It was learning a new language!
Q. What streets do ghosts haunt?
A. Dead ends!
Q. What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
A. The Space bar!
Q. What exam do young witches have to pass?
A. A spell-ing test!
Q. Why did the boy eat his homework?
A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q. Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
A. Because you dribble on the floor!
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142
Koala
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Koala
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,142 |
Q. What washes up on very small beaches?
A. Microwaves.
Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?
A. A hole!
Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?
A. The road!
Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. Take away their chairs!
Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A. The scientists were brainstorming!
Q. Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date!
Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A. Hi Cliff!
Q. What did Pooh say to his agent?
A. Show me the honey!
Q. Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
A. Because he was sitting on the deck!
Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?
A. You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A. I think I'm coming down with something!
Q. What do lawyers wear to court?
A. Lawsuits!
Q. What breaks when you say it?
A. Silence!
Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot!
Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck!
Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A. Post Office!
Q. What did the blanket say to the bed?
A. Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Q. Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A. To draw the curtains!
Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A. One! After that its not empty!
Q. What kind of button won't unbutton?
A. A bellybutton!
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