BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Kid's jokes

ooo jokes!!! ah let me see....thinking ....thinking...

Oh I got one!!! yeah me

what is black and white but red all over?
a news paper

woohoo I got two

what did the little acorn say when he grow up?
Geometry (Gee Im a Tree)

these arent realy jokes but they are funny!

little boy comes home from school and tells his grandma We learned who to make babies!
Grandma a little concerned asked How do you make babies?
the little boy says You change the Y to I and add ES!

little boy asked his mom What is it called when 2 people sleep on top of eachother? mom not wanting to lie but not wanting to say to much says sex little boy goes and comes back later and says Its not sex its bunkbeds and Jimmies mom wants to talk to you!!!

dirty joke
little girl falles into a mud puddle

clean joke
she took a bath!

tanto and roy rogers on a camping trip
Tanto and Roy got to sleep in a tent and later Tanto wakes up Roy...
Tanto: Roy wake up! look up
Roy wakes up and looks up "What am I looking at?"
Tanto: what do you make of it?
Roy said well I can see the starts so there is no clouds so it well be good weather and no rain. The stars are in allinement so we will have good fortune. What does it mean to you?"

Tonto: Some one stole our tent!!!

little girl asked grandma Do you know what you and God have in commen? the grandma, mentaly pulishing her halo said No Dear what do me and God have incommen? little girl says " You are both Old!!!

what is bigger then God,
meaner then the Devil,
The poor have it,
the rich need it,
you cant eat it,
and you cant smell it?
What is it?

hint: just answer one of the questions.

give up?

The answer is................NOTHING!

Those were really cute, Freebubbles, especially the Tonto and Roy Rogers one! I've got one.

********* Railroad crossing, look out for cars; Can you spell that without any Rs? *********


T~H~A~T

When I teach in high school and the kids start to tell jokes, theyask me if I know any dirty jokes... I always answer YES and they want to hear one. I ALWAYS tell the "WHITE HORSE FELL IN THE MUD" joke and just laugh...

Trish

lol!! it always gets them!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get away from Col. Sanders

ok halloween-ish jokes

Why didnt the skeloton cross the road?

he didnt have any guts!


knock knock
who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Oh dont cry its not that bad!!!

what song scars skeletons the most?
Who let the Dogs out!!!

what is the skelotons theme song?
the head bones connected to the neck bone

two skeletons walk into a bar....if they had eyes they would have saw it and moved!

zombie: Im going to eat your brain!
Skeleton: Your too late!

Vampire: I'm going to suck your blood!
Man coming out of Dr. office.... Sorry they took it all!

what did the mean ghost say to the other ghost?
Wheres ghost busters when you need them?

ok Im halloweened joked out

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

Pick it !

What's black and white and red all over? A zebra with a sunburn.

What's green and red and goes round and round? A frog in the blender.

(Well.... we used to really tell these!)

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead.
Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

The candle went out!

Buddha was at Yankee Stadium watching a baseball game. The vendor came round... what did Buddha say?

"Make me one with everything," of course!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Amazing Anagrams
Amazing Anagrams

Dormitory == Dirty Room

Desperation == A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code == Here Come Dots

Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity == Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness == Genuine Class

Semolina == Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one

Contradiction == Accord not in it

This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

I would love to take credit for the anagrams but I found them at:
BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Kids jokes can be very funny.

Wow, Freebubbles! You were really on a roll! I enjoyed ALL of your kid's jokes!

Trish