I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to post. I was having trouble logging into the new forum, so please accept my apologies.
As for this post, my first word of advice is to talk this over with your husband, and in a diplomatic way let him know your fears regarding his mother. Then based on his response act accordingly. If he is also repulsed by his mother's behavior, he may agree to put her up in a hotel. But if he wants to have her stay with your family, I suggest talking to her and asking her to be careful not to "spill" or "get" things on the furniture, to wash her own linens and things and to basically clean up after herself during her stay. But no matter what, you should sit down with her and discuss how you'd like her to behave in your home. It is your home, and as a houseguest, she should be willing to accomodate herself to the rules (for lack of a better term) of your house. But you should not feel that you have to clean up after her, as if she were a child. If she's still doing the same things after you've spoken to her, you may need to discuss whether she should be welcome in you and your husband's home because it then becomes an issue of respect.
I hope this works out for you. You'd be surprised how many have a family member that fits this description, so don't feel like you're all alone because you aren't. And you have every right to ask guests to respect your home as much as you do.