I know that this reply comes a little late, being as though Christmas has passed, but since it will come around again, in some shape, form or fashion, next year, I feel that I should still offer a suggestion. I, myself am a child of divorced parents. When I first read about how your aunt included her ex-husband in family events, I was both very happy and slightly envious. My mother and father actually do not talk at all. In the event that one speaks to the other a fight is sure to ensue. Both on their own are good people with loving families (both have remarried), but the two could never be in the same room together.
Be that as it may, you do have a point. I�m not sure how your family handles the actual celebration of Christmas. In my family I spend the morning with my mother, step-father, and sisters. The afternoon I spend with my father and then I return to my mother�s for dinner. Maybe a day splitting like this would be more equitable for you and those who do not like your aunt�s ex-husband. Maybe he can even come over for whatever meal you have, but then you do not have to be concerned with a gift exchange and you still get to spend some family time together that is limited to blood family.
Please let me know what happened this Christmas and your opinion on this idea. I am quite interested as you and yours are in an interesting modern situation that has not been addressed by classic etiquette.
