BellaOnline Forums Family Addictions & Children Helping Our Teenagers Through Their Phase.

I just concluded work on the shooting of my first teenage movie. In this movie, we try to give voice to the stuff our young adults are faced with. Teenage violence is not something that just happens, these youngsters have issues too. At that point where they are hit with the fact that they have to leave their comfort zones, which have for long shielded them from taking responsibilities for their actions, and move on to the phase where they are expected to be accountable and responsible. Their first reaction is always to resist and rebel against almost everything that life lodges at them.
My point is this, the young adults should not be left to go through this phase of their life alone. If there is a time they need our guidance the most; that time is now. They may put up the font of being old enough to take care of themselves but we know that is not true. Some ways we could help our young adults through their teenage phase would be to:

1. RESPECT THIS PHASE THEY ARE IN: They want to be treated like adults, they want to express themselves in their own way and they want to be heard. So, let them be heard. What we need to do as parents is, encourage them to speak up, express themselves while all the time we gently put in words of advice and rebuke here and there.

2. THE IDEA OF APPLYING FORCE WILL PLAINLY NOT WORK: Trying to forcefully get any teenager into obedience has never achieved anything order than make things worse. This is a stage where you try to reason with them; that will make them feel like the adults that they want you to treat them as.

3. STILL BE FIRM: Much as you don�t want to create confrontations or make an existing confrontation uglier than what it already is, you still have to be firm on whatever rules you have laid down in the home. Make them understand that breaking or violating these rules would have consequences. Allowing them get away with stuff would only give the impression that you are not to be taken seriously.
Finally, always keep in mind that they will come out of this phase. Your sole duty should be to help them through this phase with minimum scar.

Great post! I also speak from experience - mother of four teens and one a special needs child. This post should appear out in the other networking systems as well so that like facebook or myspace etc... This will allow all hard to reach parent's the ability to benefit. Thanks for sharing!

Good Post. I feel parenting a teenager is so important, taking time to be with them, guiding and supporting them is vital. Teenagers may feel they do not need or want their parents, but the reality is very different. Teenagers need their parent/carers more than at anytime of their lives.

Remember to be firm!!!! I have made this mistake. Cost me a lot.

Setting boundaries is so important when parenting children.
The key points to remember are:
Everyone knows exactly what the boundaries are.
Do not make unrealistic threats
Follow through on any consequences
Review boundaries as children become older or meet other conditions set out by parents.
Be firm, no is no. Not maybe, if, but or if you nag me enough I will give in.
Remember parenting should be a good positive experience. Be the good example. Boundaries are set for a reason, usually safety, not to be nasty or win the meanest parent of the year award

They need our guidance and support all their lives.

Thank you so much for sharing this lovely post. I totally agree.