Usually, we think of these people as just being lucky but it's really not a matter of luck. Those with easy marriages tend to have easy (going) personalities. They share the same traits:

*easy-going
*tolerant
*patient
*accepting
*un-controlling
*happy

On the other hand, you never know what going on behind closed doors. Everyone thought my uncle and aunt had the perfect marriage because they were always so nice. Married for over 50 years. But after he died, all the skeletons came out of the closet. I'll keep their secrets but suffice it to say, you never know the truth about another person's marriage so don't compare yours with anyone else's.

If your marriage isn't perfect or easy, ask yourself why. Mine isn't but it is quickly becoming so because I finally get that I have a lot of influence in my marital happiness. The happier, more tolerant, patient, easy-going I become, the easier my marriage becomes.

If somebody says that they have a perfect and easy marriage, I look upon them with skepticism. I've got a wonderful and solid marriage...and it is a lot of work. It's not perfect or easy!

Connie, I sure agree with you!

My marriage is reaching perfection. It will take some more time.

Modern Woman - give us some tips to your success ...

We should think more about the other person more than we think of ourselves. Even otherwise divorce is not that common in India. So couples try to adjust with each other.

It is certainly not easy to have a near perfect marriage. It is very tough.

A former neighbor had celebrated over 50 years of marriage, and at the age of 85, she would quietly knit in a corner of the house all by herself now that her mate had passed. I marveled at her being married for such a long time, and I asked what her secret of success was. I will never forget her response:

She leaned closer to me and whispered: "To be married as long as I have, you have to put up with a lot of [censored]."

LOL. I was going to have that cross-stitched to hang over my mantel but thought it might be a little too crass for company.

I'd go ahead and cross stitch it. You live there -- they don't and most likely they'd agree with it. I can't name anyone I've ever known having anything close to what would be called a perfect marriage. I think the whole concept is mythical. LOL!

Our youngest son will tell anybody who will listen, "My parents have a perfect marriage." I just laugh and tell him that nobody has a perfect marriage. His dad and I are good friends and we work hard to keep our marriage strong. Yes, sometimes that does mean putting up with a lot of ___! Sometimes he puts up with mine, while other times I put up with his. HOWEVER, it is not one sided, and we love each other like crazy.

I think that adapting to changing circumstances and issues is key, and to be sure we have our own hobbies to retreat into during stressful times. For me it is either reading, writing, or meditating.

Nothing is perfect in this world. Its not me, neither is my husband or anyone else for the matter. Perfection exists only in heaven.

I don't aim to preach but..... Don't try for perfection, instead be happy and look for satisfaction. (WOW, I like this sentence )

You're all so right and have valuable points for us to consider. I especially love your last sentence, too, Anu: "Don't try for perfection, instead be happy and look for satisfaction."

What is perfection anyway? Everyone has his or her own idea of a perfect marriage. There is perfection in imperfection.

There can be no perfect marriage between two imperfect people. We are human and there is nothing we can do to change that. Inevitably we will make mistakes along the way.

I know a few couples who have been married for many years and they seem very happy with a strong bond. But they will say that there have been ups and downs, and each person will sometimes go off the rails a bit. The key is patience and acceptance, love and compassion, support and a lot of hard work. It is what it is. You will get out of it what you put into it, provided both people are committed to the marriage's survival.

Perfect? Easy? Never. But peace and happiness within a marriage can be achieved even with the challenges that life will dish out.

Indeed it is! The biggest change of circumstances for me and my wife of 48 years, and the biggest threat to our marriage, was her insistence forty years ago to have a child. As I confessed in my blog ("A young man's car", in the Archives of September 2013): where two had been company, three was a crowd.

However, when the time came for one of us to give up work and become the parent of first resort, it was I who chose to do it. I did it for five years, beginning around the time of our son's sixth birthday ("On being a house-husband", October 2013). We bonded fabulously well, and we have been closer than he and his mother, ever since.

It's not possible for a marriage to be easy. The key is talking to each other honestly and never embarrassing your spouse in public. I feel blessed to have been married to my husband for twenty-seven years.

My marriage is not always perfect but it is becoming more solid as we have both relaxed a little bit.

Tip: Some things (like certain perceived bad habits) are just not that important to give any attention to.

I don't think anyone has a perfect marriage. Personalities are different. Even though 2 people may agree on a lot of things, there is always going to be room for a heated debate somewhere down the road.

Maybe some people have an easy marriage, in the respect of not having to worry about money.

My parents have been married over 63 years. It's not always easy, but they've managed. It's a wonderful site to see. My mom is very outgoing and ornery, my dad more introverted and sedate. It's a very interesting combination.