Posted By: k713
Miscarriage... - 02/09/12 05:19 AM
So back in October I missed my period it didnt come it ended up not coming until november. The whole time I'm freaking out thinking I'm pregnant. Did a pregnancy test nothing. I talked to my "friend" who said he would take me to get a blood test. We went but the woman behind the counter could not draw my blood. So I'm thinking this is all cleared up Period came beginning of November just like it would have if my period was normal. I literally just skipped a month. This is all fine and dandy except the whole october I was sick. This further had made me think I was pregnant. The whole time I just knew I was and I had bonded with my little booger. I talked with my "friend" who said he wanted me to get an abortion. I'm not going to lie I contemplated all my options but when it came down to it I couldn't cope with killing a child. Like what if this child was born to be something great and I cut its life short. We had discussed our other options and were going to think about it more when like I said November came around with what I thought was a pleasant surprise. I went in for a pap smear the other day and the doctor asked me if I had ever been pregnant. I said no. And she said that I had some membranes in my [censored] that were unfamiliar to a woman who had never been pregnant. She did some testing and poked and proded further into my cervix to find that I had been pregnant at some point and that what I ahd thought was my period was a miscarriage. I can't deal witht he thought of my little booger being dead. My peanut died and I didnt even know it. Actually I had a feeling something wasn't right. I just knew I was pregnant I knew it but I just pushed it out of my mind since the tests I took came up negative. After telling my doc what had happened in October she said that most likely I had spontaneously aborted when the fetus was just two or three weeks old and that it had gone with my cycle to eject from my body. I don't know whether or not to tell my friends or my family since none of them knew I thought I was pregnant in the first place. Also my "friend" he and I don't speak anymore. He, as he says, "wants nothing to do with me anymore" Probably on account that he got a girlfriend and decided I wasn't worthy of that status and threw me to the side like trash. I want to tell him I want to share this pain with someone because honestly it is utterly painful and I'm in it alone. How do I cope? Do I tell him?