OK, so that was an awkward subject title. But I have a personal question, and I thought this would be the best forum to ask.

I'm in my late thirties, and I'm dating again. I just found out that some personal hygiene practices have changed. Specifically, I'm referring to "Brazillian" waxes or the total removal of hair from the pubic region.

Is this a new common practice? Is this something I might want to consider? Do real women over the age of 35 do this? I'm just looking for some advice on what is expected or common place. I don't know why, but it is making me a little paranoid, so any advice is appreciated.

Thanks, Amy

I guess it depends on where you live. It is done at the Spa where I work but it is not the norm. No one I know has had it done and I think it would be really painful.

Thanks Lynne. I've noticed it in magazines and alluded to on TV. I'm still thinking about it. I live in So Cal and maybe it is more prevalent here. I know it is very common with younger co-workers, but not too much with my married friends. I think this is just something for me to worry about and give me an excuse for not dating.

Amy

I don't think it is anything I would ever consider married or not. You know it has to itch like crazy when you decide to stop waxing! I think it is just another thing to get you into the spa and spend money!

Blueamy2000, I had a friend once that did it once a month and loved it but not at first. It took a few times to get used to (itchiness, red skin, and pain).

I get my eyebrows waxed and that hurts in itself but to imagine it in a place that is way more sensitive and not as exposed to the public (which means the skin is much more softer), ouch! here comes the pain. I just shave it all and go with that. My sister says, she uses Nair there....hey, that's what she says but I can't see myself doing that without taking some precautions. Happy holidays everyone.

I dont think so its a big matter,,,, but many feel it looks ugly and they remove it... by removing continuously body skin gets shrink...


Drug rehab

I hate it, and have been shaving it off since it started growing. I tried waxing once and had horrible purple marks that looked like sucker bites. Holy painful. I'll stick to shaving.

Its not as painful as it sounds...if the person doing it does it properly...and uses the right wax, my technician used i think 3 different waxes depending on the area done.

I think the same way I would expect a gentleman to be groomed in certain areas is the same for women, if not total Brazilian than a trim.

I do my own at home now, and I don't find any itchiness. The redness and pain, that happens to me only if done during certain times of the month.

The red bumps I don't get that either, but I exfoliate to prevent that.

its all personal preference i believe...in a guy i would expect it...idk if it is the same way for a girl

I personally find this practice demeaning to women. When men start paying big money to go to a salon once each month to have hot wax spackled on their genitals followed by sticking strips of cloth to it so all the pubic hair can be ripped out of their scrotums, I will think about it. Even then, I'm sure I will decide that it is not for me. Why does an adult woman have to go through all that to give her private body parts a childlike appearance. Frankly, I think it is a bizarre practice. It used to be just a kinky porn thing. I won't do it and I hope young woman will say, NO!

You hit the nail on the head, JTIXTLANBO. Waxing only became expected because of highly available porn, out there to influence young men and women. If you are dating men younger than 32, they will probably expect you to be naked down there, because it's all they know. They, and women in their age group, think it's normal, because their sexual role models are porn girls. Older men experienced their naughty exposure via Playboy, when women were natural and unshaven, so they never expected anything different - unless they were really piggish guys who got caught up in then hard to find video porn. Other than that, it never would have occurred to women or men to shave it all off down there.

Shay

LOL! Too funny!

Having had my legs waxed, the thought of waxing my genital area is out of the question! I have shaved down there and it itches like crazy. My hubby doesn't care for it anyway because it looks like "a little girl" but I like the cleanliness factor.

I just trim. Once I told my aunt that and she thought the idea was hilarious. Her generation just considers it natural and leaves well enough alone.

"I personally find this practice demeaning to women. When men start paying big money to go to a salon once each month to have hot wax spackled on their genitals followed by sticking strips of cloth to it so all the pubic hair can be ripped out of their scrotums, I will think about it. Even then, I'm sure I will decide that it is not for me. Why does an adult woman have to go through all that to give her private body parts a childlike appearance. Frankly, I think it is a bizarre practice. It used to be just a kinky porn thing. I won't do it and I hope young woman will say, NO!"

I'm really, really offended by this. For one thing, men do commonly get waxed 'down there'. Mostly gay men, but some straight as well. I get fully waxed and it has *nothing* to do with looking like a child. The accusation that people who wax are "kinky porn thing" oriented is rude and unfounded. I wax because I love the way it feels. I love it for hygiene reasons during my period. I love being able to have increased sensitivity during sex. I love not having irritation if my underwear rubs on the edges. There are many, many different reasons women get waxed, and it's totally small-minded to throw accusations around when you obviously don't even have correct information.

It really bothers me, that in a forum about body image, women are so judgmental about others' body choices, and can actually say that women who make a choice that is different than the norm are demeaning themselves, or that they are trying to be appealing to pedophiles.

I don't do a full wax, but do the bikini wax during swimsuit season - because it is so less irritating than shaving when you go swimming a lot.

I've never thought about it as "porn" before - just that I don't like the way it looks in a bathing suit if I have hair sticking out. And I'm not going around wearing teeny tiny bikinis either I'm a one-piece gal all the way!

Oh, and as far as men go - (Boy hubby is going to kill me!) my husband doesn't wax but he does use a trimmer down there, and his main purpose is because he got his hairs caught in his zipper one time, Ouch! So he keeps it trimmed so that won't happen again.

Hi Mary Ellen,
I'm sorry that you're offended by what appears to be judgemental comments made by others in the body image forum. That's the funny thing about forums, people are supposed to be able to speak their minds and when they do, others of us will inevitably be offended.
I'm surprised too at some of the cruel remarks made here, but you know that's just their opinion and at the end of the day...it's just that...an opinion by someone who feels that they have a right to make such blank statements.
I've read a couple of other posts made by someone here and in my opinion they seem to be in the negative trend so I'm not really surprised by what was said here.
I think we are all beautiful what ever way we look tall...short...big...small...hairy or not and I while I've been insulted by some of the things I read in forums...I know that whatever they think, God made me, therefore I AM beautiful.
Be at peace!!!

Gosh, Mary Ellen, I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you. I don't *think* I said anything about a bikini wax as being a porn thing! Frankly, if it didn't hurt or itch, I'd get it done because I like the hygiene factor! Plus, who likes hair poking outta your bathing suit. *ick*

And Michelle, speaking of hubbies: He would totally kill me for telling you all here but turnabout is fair play so he did shave down there and couldn't take the itching afterward. LOL.

I said MY DH thought it looked like a little girl but then again, he must like hair because he tried to talk me into NOT shaving my underarms for a long time.

So, please don't be upset Mary Ellen. No one is judging you. Hair, hairless...it's all good!

Ok. ok. This might be too much personal information. I have waxed almost everything for 25 years and never any genital area. I think that is just crazy talk! You can easily groom yourself without the torture. Mattie a la Mode

As a person who performs this service, I have found that it is done more in the younger generations. This is due to the type of undergarmets and clothing that is popular amungst this crowd.

However, I have more and more 30 to middle-aged women coming in for variations of the brazillian. My boss, who is 34 gets what we call a mini brazillian. We leave most of the hair on the pubic mound but clean up the shape, leave the outer labial hair, but clean the bikini area and leg areas. Then we also clean the perineum (sp?) and her inner thighs. This is because she likes the cleanliness. This is the most common of my brazillians.

Others i do the full monty so to speak. We do do shapes with the hair on the pubic mound and some get the clittoral hood hair removed in addition to the outer labial hair.

I usually ask my clients why they are getting it done. if their answer is because my husband or boyfriend thinks it would look hott ot whatever, I usually suggest the mini or bikini. If the woman wants it for herself, I never question it and do what they want.

It is all a matter of choice.

And as for men, I do plenty of waxings on men. It is a body image thing. They like the cleaner look. I have many of my male clients who will come in for neck, back, shoulder, chest, and stomach waxes who either trim their pubic region or wax. I would say about 99.99% trim theirs in some fashion. And that is all ages.

And personally, I feel the porn issue is WAY OFF!. It is a matter of different ideals of cleanliness and body image that we have now. We are more apt to clean and trim then in the past. However, this comes and goes with the ages. Hundreds of years ago deplitiories and grooming was popular, then not, then popular. It comes and it goes.

I trim now and shave my bikini area. I have waxed. Have had a full brazillian, a partial, and a mini.

As for the hickee... that shouldn't happen if the person knows what they are doing. If a person repeatedly causes them or non-chilantly puts them off... never go back.. they obviously aren't either 1. professional, 2. know what they are doing, or 3. both.

You learn something new every day. I feel so old. When I read the title of the thread I thought it was going to be about facial hair on post-menopausal women!

I'm with you on about 99% of what you say.

I don't see it as a porn thing. Personally, I sometimes do it because I love how it feels and I've noticed it keeps you feeling clean longer. I also find it to look quite pretty.

I don't do it often though and when I do, I use a home waxing kit. I'm not comfortable having someone else go down there and do it for me :S
And yes, if done incorrectly, you can hurt yourself badly so be careful and read up on safety tips online before trying it the first time.

Most times I just shave. It hurts when it grows back afterwards but it's the quickest way of getting it all off.

I agree with this and I wax for many of the same reasons.

I wouldn't do it. Fair enough tidying the area up but, I would have to tell the guy this will be a mutual thing. If you want me to experience pain you can do it too. Or if a guy says wear 6 inch heels my reply is usually how about you pay for them. They usually stop syaing things then lol.

I took offence to this you are we women in that age group think it's normal. I am in that age group. I think it's very unfair to put that kind of sterotype on us. well I could say a lot. I am not into porn and I don't wish to be put into that bracket. I think you need to rethink the whole statement not all under 32 year olds are like that.
OFFENDED!

I don't do it for my husband. I've been doing it back when I was a virgin. A pure virgin I might add. I didn't go around do any funny stuff. I did it purely for me. Besides, my husband, who's 31 now doesn't care whether I'm waxed or not. Doesn't bother him either way.

Also, I have read that the waxing (down there) was influenced by the porn industry but that isn't why many women do it. Porn had no influence on me. I actually got the idea from my cousin who told me how clean she felt after she did it. I wanted to be cleaner too, so I tried it and loved it.

I also don't think it's fair to stereotype young women but everyone is entitled to their opinion. I personally am not offended by it. I have no reason to be.

My finace has told me over and over that even if I wanted to (which I don't) he would hate me getting waxed. He loves my hair and tells me again and again how attractive he finds it. IMO if you do it for yourself then fine, it's your choice. Whatever your hair looks like head to toe is your decision but if you are doing it for others then don't do it. I have shaved once and I hated it but I did it because I thought it should be done, that it would be sexier (Jennifer Anniston in The Breakup etc.). I still have thoughts like that, you see the images on TV and the media and no hair is anywhere to be seen on these girls bodies so I get pressured into thinking that mine should be the same. But then that's why i'm here, to understand that there is nothing wrong with my body.

Wana try the laser hair removal. It is long lasting and no pain is associated with this procedure.

i have many questions running in my mind

[quote=Sindri]My finace has told me over and over that even if I wanted to (which I don't) he would hate me getting waxed. He loves my hair and tells me again and again how attractive he finds it. IMO if you do it for yourself then fine, it's your choice. Whatever your hair looks like head to toe is your decision but if you are doing it for others then don't do it. I have shaved once and I hated it but I did it because I thought it should be done, that it would be sexier (Jennifer Anniston in The Breakup etc.). I still have thoughts like that, you see the images on TV and the media and no hair is anywhere to be seen on these girls bodies so I get pressured into thinking that mine should be the same. But then that's why i'm here, to understand that there is nothing wrong with my body. [/quote] Well said Sindri. My thoughts are in perfect harmony with yours. If you feel like you would enjoy some shorter hair here and there then by all means, just don't feel like you are in the position where you have to go for a certain look. It is my own opinion that aesthetically some hair down there is very appealing, but like everything else, a little grooming and touch-up can really give a gal some confidence with a new partner. Just do what you feel comfortable with.