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Yvonnie,

You mentioned people's pasts and that it had the potential to mold them into physical and emotional abusers and other types of people like that; that is an excuse.

Even if I can escape my parents and lead an happy life whether I forgive them or not what they did and continue doing to me will always be there and despite all that I have not hurt physically and mentally anyone including animals.

My parents did not have good childhood but they could have used that to be good parents but they instead decided to be worst than their parents were.

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Yesterday I went to bed at 2:57 and got up at 12:55. I did some cleaning, had to change the dates of the things I planned to do and change the decisions I had made (im still doing it all - just that i realised that i cannot do it by that set date - normally i freak out when something comes up but not now - so far anyway eek) and watched the Dallas Stars at 20:00. It was an average day and an horrible day.

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Average night I meant.

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Nancy-

I would suggest they did not decide to be bad parents, but simply didn't recognize the need to do better. It's not an excuse just a truth. Children learn from their parents one way or another. The person you are when you entered this realm determines the way you will interpret your lessons; to mimic or be the exact opposite.

I too chose to be the exact opposite in many ways. My forgiving my parents for simply being who they are (and I in no way suggest I have experienced what you have; in no way would I dare minimize your anguish and hurt and experience of abuse) allowed me to find a happy medium in many areas of my life.

Holding on to the anger slows us down and keeps us from finding solutions for ourselves.

Please believe me when I say, I wish forgiveness because it helps YOU heal. It is your own, personal, and true blessing; the best gift you could ever give yourself.

Forgiving them empowers/liberates you to separate your intentions from theirs. It lightens the burden of their control and makes you lighter and stronger on your way out of the abuse.

My heart is with you.


Yvonnie DuBose
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Yvonnie,

My dad is totally clueless but my mom is not. She shows that she knows what she is doing so at least in her case it is a choice to be who she is. I am not excusing my dad by saying that he is clueless, he just loves being just about himself and not caring at all about anyone else. So far he has always gotten away with it because there was always someone fixing all the things he does.

I know that when I finally break free of them and I have no more contacts with them that I will be fine. I will still have the effects of what they have done but I am sure I can get through it. I certainly can not start to get over what they have done while being in contact with them especially while living with them. Like I said just being with them even when they are in a nice mood is stressful so there's no way that I can get over that. I can though in the meantime work on myself and do some things before moving on and that is what I am finally doing.

I am just proud of myself for not letting the latest set back get to me. Normally when I realised that I could not get the things I said I would do the next weeks by that set date I would of just given up but I did not let that get to me and I am not giving up!

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Yesterday I went to bed at 3:16 and got up at 13:38. I watched Dr Phil at 18:00, Judge Judy at 19:00 and 19:30, Chopped at 20:00, Universe-Mysteries at 22:00 and The Daily Show at 23:00. It was an average night and a very bad day.

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With the weather, it promises to be a quiet day at work so I will probably get a LOT done!


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Today I am feeling grateful It is not that life is all that rosy - back troubles and beloved in bed with flu - but there is so much to life that is enhancing and happy making.

I would love to see people post five things they are grateful for today!

1) The sun is shining
2) The beloved and I had a great talk - a REAL talk that was real communication
3) I discovered old Perry Mason episodes on YouTUbe!
4) My local rural taxi service that will get me to the village for supplies
5) My gift for New Year is sharing - so I am sharing the practice of gratitude

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Hey Bee-

U sound like me.

1) Coffee & Hot Chocolate morning moment w/my 5 year old
2) Handmade dolls for my girls
3) Homemade Biscuits & Tea
4) Making educational connections for my girls
5) A free hour to write

What will you do today? Post here: Wellness & Personal Growth/What Will You Do Today


Yvonnie DuBose
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I went to the State Library today to do some research.
Wrote a note to a friend.

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