High stress today, I can't wait for my little break, I'm going to take my sixth ativan tonight.

29 days left!

Nancy -

It is wonderful that you are building up knowledge about your stress levels and how they impact you. You're doing a great job with better sleep, all due to your efforts with your stress levels. It's wonderful that you're building a resistance to the negativity!

I have a suggestion. So much of how we feel is caused by our own perceptions of the world. I.e. two people can be in the exact same room, seeing the exact same things, and one can be happy while the other is sad. It's all about how we allow ourselves to perceive what we see and hear. And we absolutely can change how we react. Brains are not fixed. Research proves this over and over again.

How we phrase things, with words, can have a strong impact on how we perceive things. Words impart meaning.

So, with that being said, I'd like to suggest an experiment. Instead of thinking of your parents having a cosmic "power" to force you to have stress, which they don't, think of them as being self-centered. What they are doing, they're doing for their own internal reasons. They are like mindless robots on a track. Even though it might seem that they are doing something for a reason involving you, really it's all about them. They want to feel better. For whatever twisted programming reason, doing something that interacts with you makes them feel better.

So, to simplify it, for this experiment, avoid saying they "are causing you stress" or "they are driving you crazy". Those all imply that they are forcing you to do things. They can't! They are completely outside your body. Only you are inside your own head.

Instead, phrase it from YOUR point of view. "I got stressed when my Mom did X." Or "I got upset when my Dad did Y." That's the first step! Phrase it that you had a reaction to something. Focus on your reactions.

Lisa,

Once again thank you for being there for me!

I will try that, if it works it may be a while (remember how it took me a long time to try the stop sign...it worked but i forgot about it...ill try to remember it next time because it really worked when i did it).

It would not be so hard if my parents would not do this on purpose. You should of seen them yesterday, it is very obvious they do that on purpose and it is also obvious to see them happy when I am down. The only time they did not swim with happiness in my sorrow was when I was having a breakdown during Shumi's last Italy grand prix when with Ferrari, they know too well that when it has to do with him I never let anyone get to me in any way so if they would of done anything wrong them it would not of been pretty and fun for both of them.

Today stress wise it was better. I also felt better over all. Today is a Sunday and the coming fourth Sunday will be the day my parents will be packing for their little vacation, that has given me some energy. Plus yesterday something happened and at first I thought it was a negative thing but I realised it was a positive thing after all.

28 days left!

Dear Nancy -

That's the spirit! See, you're awesome at this!

Nothing in life is inherently bad. It's all about how we think about it. Things that might seem hiccups are really often GOOD things that are helping us grow.

You're less than a month away! Celebrate each day!

I got some much needed chores done around the house. I feel good about it so my stress level is low today.

Today I was able to block my parents but it was very hard, during the day I had problems blocking my dad and at night it was my mom, I almost hurt myself while blocking them (my nails are getting big and i was closing my fists while trying to block them).

27 days left!

My stress is extremely high today and it has nothing to do with my parents.

Everything has not worked today! My keys were stucked in the keyring I wanted to change (my mom got them out with a tool...we have NO idea how that happened) and (there were many more things before and in between the next thing....it will take me too long to list everything that went bad today!!!!!!) I just spent more than one hour trying to get a new email address, I had one in mind from ZZN (an Elmo address) and I saw that they are now asking almost 20$ for having an email address with them (word of advice to everyone here....they are NOT worth paying for...anyway i dont see why pay for an email address...i never paid for 1 and never will) so then I tried another place where it looked like it had worked but no so I tried another place and the same thing happened! Finally I was able to find a new place for an email address!

There's a few hours left to my day, I am scared for what is coming my way!

26 days left!

Nancy -

Think of these things as strength training exercises. It's just like going to the gym. When you go to the gym, to help your muscles get stronger, you lift weights with heavy things on them. This builds your strength and practice.

So these hurdles you faced - like with the email - were your training. They were about relatively minor things. Email isn't a life-or-death situation. They were your training grounds to help you build your perseverance. And you did persevere! You made it through, and succeeded! So that is great. The training exercise did exactly what it was meant to do, and you are stronger now!

Lisa,

I know these are small minor things but think about things like that happening every single day for years! I moved here on November 9 2009 and today we are September 4 2013 and every single day here has been like that, this is no joke and no exageration! I have had zero normal days, zero! When it's not something it's something else! Always, all the time, every single day!

If it weren't for Shumi coming back to Formula One for three years I would of probably killed myself by now, I got used to live a pathetic life but at least I used to have normal days!

This house or the ground or the city is cursed (if its not that then i want to know why it all turned for the worst when i got here)!