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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934 Likes: 4
BellaOnline Editor Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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BellaOnline Editor Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934 Likes: 4 |
Nancy -
If your family causes you stress then you might want to look into headphones. That way you can completely block them out. Long term it's better to learn to not have to block them out of course, because you can't wear headphones 24 hours a day, but for now it's a good first step.
Headaches can often be triggered by foods and dehydration so I'd start with the water first. Many people get a headache when they're starting to dehydrate. So try a glass and see if that helps!
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808
BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Low stress today. Things are looking up
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808
BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Low stress. Feeling good today.
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934 Likes: 4
BellaOnline Editor Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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BellaOnline Editor Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934 Likes: 4 |
Debbie - That is great news. Our stress level can have an impact on so many other things in life. That also has a ripple that then changes the stress levels of those around us. The more we can manage our own stress levels, so we are at peace with the world, the more we can be encouraging and accepting of others, even with the mistakes and foibles they have .
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808
BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Low stress. Going with the flow.....
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487 |
I had an idea earlier today and if this happens it would bring me at least a full week of peace so my stress level is low today.
I still have no job but everytime I have money that I don't have to spend I put it aside even if it's just cents. That money is not a lot but it could help me a little if I were to move on my own or it could give me a little vacation somewhere or a shopping spree. My idea was to give gas money to my parents so they can go spend at least a full week to an old neighbor of ours. That woman is so nice that she has always refused any money so all my parents need is gas money. 400$ would be enough to go there and come back and it will also be enough for a week there. There's a bank in our small town so if they go at the end of the month I could pay their bills at their place and if I have appointments a nice neighbor will gladly drive me there so no worries even they would be gone more than a month! They went there three times since we moved but it was always for less than one week because then my dad only wanted that but now since he is in the middle of all the drama here (normally he always could hide and let my mom take care of all of it but now he has to be in the middle) so now he wants to go there for more than just a few days. This sure would cost less than a vacation and it would also serve as a vacation so win for everyone especially me.
I will only do that if I see myself having to live with my parents a few more years (im still searching for a way out but right now these way out are me barely eating and paying rent...living with stressful parents is hard but not eating or ending up in the streets is worst).
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2013
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Okay so I really thought about it plus counted my money and calculated everything and I will make that offer to my parents. The way I see things that's the only way that I can remain living here with them while making my big decisions and not only having enough money to move out but also be in a good place while doing this.
The stress of it all is affecting me more and more. I'm now at a point where if I don't get a break or get out of this I will either go crazy or have to take medication.
And they are getting so much on my nerves that I just cannot relax and do anything. When I am in a good mood or am about to make a decision they do or say something that either gets me mad, puts me down or stresses me too much. I just cannot do anything. Choice wise deciding on a shampoo is hard for me so how can I make a bid decision that will affect the rest of my life?
If they do not accept this then I am getting out of here. If it comes to this and want to eat while waiting to find a job it will mean no television and no internet which also means no Dallas Stars, to me it is awful since watching them is one of the rare things that gives me happiness but going crazy or having to take medication to keep me from going crazy is where I'm at so I would take that. Missing Michael Schumacher drive would of been the death of me, he is retired so this at least is not something that I have to worry about.
When I will be able to get them together without any drama (not only is our home a huge drama the rest of the town is....from my grandmom to the rest of the family to the people here...its insane).
Today my mom bumped her head on a door in a basement. It made a hole and it was bleeding but she closed it with some stitches we had in the downstair's bathroom. She is going blind because she has had the same glasses for like ten years (had a few years before my dad decided to drop his job to change them so her excuse of being poor is an excuse just like everything else). My dad when he came back from seeing one of his brothers who has to stay in one of his son's cabin (1 of the drama going on here) did not even say a thing about the hole in her forehead and the two white stiches on each sides. My mom has started talking about faxing an eye surgeon for an appointment (thats the only way people can get an appointment to an eye surgeon here) so that means in maybe one year she'll do it so then you add some months until she gets to see that eye surgeon then having to hear her say that she cannot get glasses because of the lack of money. It has always been this way and never will change.
Thankfully I never had any kids so I did not put any innocent child throught what my parents did to me!
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487 |
I just made my offer (just to my mom because my dad is too tired from his day...i was alone with her and i thought it was the perfect time) and my mom got angry. First she said "What would we do there?" (thats the person who has said almost everyday for the past weeks that she would love to have the money to spend several weeks there) then she got mad at me. Now she's in a rocking chair silent and looking at the wall (she made sure to start singing to get on my nerves before of course).
I made it clear that I'm about to go crazy here and that my brain needs a break.
I will let them think about it and if they don't take it I'm out of here next year after the season of the Dallas Stars (i may get lucky and find a job before the next season starts and be able to watch the games).
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487 |
Tonight I wrote a letter (in English since im better at expressing myself with that language) to my mom and in it I wrote what I wanted to say while making my offer. Her reaction and the faces she was making was not welcoming so instead of starting to scream I just stopped.
I did not mentioned that if they don't accept I will move out and no blame was written but I explained why I need to be alone for a time. I also explained to her what has happened to me since moving. I give them until next week to accept or not accept it.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487 |
My stress have been high since I made that offer!
That night after I wrote the letter I saw when getting my bed ready that my mom had written a letter. In it she was making excuses then she tried making me feel guilty (talking about my brother's death) so I wrote another small letter telling her that what I had written and said was not changed. When I got up she had written a small note explaining a two years sentence that had to do with me getting what was mine (in 2 years they will renew their mortgage and they will borrow 16,000$ and give me my money back....yeah right) and she told me that I would have my answer this weekend. Sunday night nothing so I wrote what is the answer and nothing again this morning, they had gone to run some errands when I woke up so I asked my mom (my dad went to hide upstairs) and angrily she said that the old neighbor was busy with visitors this weekend but they would talk tonight and that I would get my answer then (she used a cursed word before the word answer). She also said that it would not be before September and I reminded her that I said that I did not care that it was next year as long as they went.
So I guess that me giving them money for something that they both want and need is me being cruel!
After my brain and body has been recharged with this break I will be able to work on myself and these two "parents" will only know that I am moving out after I have found a place, they will not ruin this for me just like they have ruined all my plans and dreams.
Right now I am shaking because of me being angry with their reactions!
And if they think that they can make me wait while laughing at me they have another thing coming, if it's not 100% sure by this weekend I will do what I need to do to get out of here as fast as possible!
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