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Daily Marriage Boost #51: We all crave approval from those we love the most. Stop the critical statements you make towards him/her or anyone else!

We often criticize those we love the most. Why? We examine them too closely for imperfections.

I finally realized that my husband is not required to be perfect to be loved anymore than I am expected to be perfect.

I've been guilty of this. I have learned to back off a little bit and let the small stuff go instead of making a big deal out of things that don't really matter. My partner may not be doing things exactly the way I would, but it does not make it wrong or a subject for criticism. Tolerance, acceptance, and unconditional love need to come into play here. Nobody is perfect.

It's natural, Debbie, especially for women. We're just trying to work towards our ideal and we know that it is achievable.

I was terribly guilty of pointing out my husband's shortcomings to him in the hopes that he would improve. But one day, he pointed out all of MY flaws and it was humbling!

I realized how he had to tolerate quite a lot from me, beyond the criticizing! He said to me, "I love you warts and all. Why can't you love me the same?" This really hit me hard. I felt terrible that my criticizing made him feel less than lovable.

I stopped immediately. It is no longer required of him to be perfect or even better than he is now. I love him as is. As he loves me. We both have to tolerate the imperfections but as time goes on, those imperfections make us who we are and, dare I say it, are becoming quite endearing.

Unconditional love is magic, I tell you!

Daily Marriage Boost #52: If you love him/her, feel good about yourself. Self-care, self-esteem improves your marriage.

Self-care is a way to show that you love him. He wants you around. He wants you to feel good about yourself. A vibrant, happy YOU is a gift to him.

I agree with this one wholeheartedly.

Here are the ones I've neglected to post:

Daily Marriage Boost #53: Focus on his satisfaction and fulfillment, and he'll do anything to keep you happy, too.

Daily Marriage Boost #54: Learn how to be his best friend here: How to be his best friend

Daily Marriage Boost #55: Being married means you have someone to come home to, someone to kiss every night.

These are great, and so important. I like #55......so sweet!

Thanks, Debbie.

Daily Marriage Boost #56: We bond with those who make us feel good. Make each other feel good!

Do you know what makes him/her feel good? Not just physically but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually?

Our hairstylist always gives us the most amazing scalp, head and neck massages with each haircut. It feels SO good that the massage alone is worth the price!

Remembering how good it feels, I decided to give my husband a scalp, head and neck massage because he has been very stressed about his company merger lately. It turned into a full body massage when I saw how he was enjoying it. He said he felt more relaxed than he has felt in ages, and he slept well.

I really do want him to connect ME with feeling good. I attempt to do things that will reinforce that connection between ME and feel good feelings in all areas of our lives (spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and physically).

A while back, I read an article about how Jerry Johnson (former Dallas Cowboys head coach) divorced and then married his hair stylist. Could it have been those scalp massages? LOL. It was at least something that made him feel good when he was with her.

Any kind of massage is great, but I think the head and neck massages are extra powerful because this area is so close to the thinking brain. A massage in this area is soothing like no other.