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I got the EXACT same email today that I got on Tuesday but with todays date. again I tried to reply to it and got the message "Recipient address rejected: User unknown in local recipient table" I was pretty preturbed and sent it to my ex and just said if there is something you want to say then just say it point blank, why do you keep sending this? Again, I know it wasn't her , it isn't possible, I was just upset. Am i being punished for something? Is that why this is happening?

who would be punishing you but yourself?

I don't know, it is just a thought? but I have no explanation of how this is even possible. maybe I am being punished because I was not honest about our relationship and who I am. I really don't know but it is really toying with my mind and emotions. I am trying to be patient but it is not easy when this happens.

whydon t you look within yourself to find the answer.ifyou weren t honest about your relationship and who you were that is the kind "punishment"though i wouldn t use that word,with you not being with her anymore.if you can t see that you haven t changed,otherwise you d have moved on and you wouldn t put yourself through pain.if you re not ready to move on that s fine,but understanding your pain is essential for that and noone can do it for you.when we do mistakes thaey come back in our face do you know why?because they makes us grow once we get past the suffering.if you can t forgive yourself you can t move on and you ll only end up crippled,plus you won t be honoring the path that is laid out in front of you.

I have forgiven myself for my part in what went wrong in our relationship. I have forgiven her for her part in what went wrong. We both hurt one another. She needs to forgive both herself and me and then we can heal.When she and I reunite I will not be ashamed of who and what I am. I will lose family and friends through my decision but I have to do what I feel is best for my life. I have to as you say, "honor the path that is laid out in front of me". I have no doubt that she is who I am meant to be with , she knows it too but is scared.It may take her until I am 65 years old but I will be waiting for her. You may not understand that but it would not be fair to anyone else to get involved with them when I know I could never love them. I am still living my life but the door will always be open for her. that will never change. This still does not explain how the emails come to me from an account that does not exist!!! That is my trouble.

that swhy i mtalking to you about tis lpb,what is interesting here is how you react to those mails,that is the spiritual key.
with or without the mails you still send them toyourself in yourhead.it s a virus.
if you want a reunion,you have to go through a full seperation first,and i m not talking physically.
sometimes we are with a person just to learn something abouteach other andwe thereby honor that relationship andits love by growing whih you re in the middle of.
it s as you say someone is tempering with you head be ause you have to grow out of it.
have you done as phyllis suggested about the computer forum?
you ll see the hidden side of this is much more fulfilling
what i am also saying here is that those mails have a purpose,andif you still do react in this way to them then it means you haven t understood everything.you haven t really changed yet cause you are frozen by waiting,and if you want to honour your path you can t wait.
she is not at the moment thinking about going back with you.
i have a question do you live alone where you live or did someone move out recently fromyour place or a person a guy that moved away?

yes, I posted this in the computer forum no, I do not live alone. I live with my sister and her husband and their 2 sons. No one has moved out recently. My ex moved a few weeks ago in with some other people? Why do you ask? and I am sorry gemineye, how else would I react to getting these emails? I am trying to give her her space, I am living my life and going about my life but when I constantly get reminders of her, what am I supposed to do? The only contact I have had with her the last few months is through email(ones she actually sends) are you suggesting I don't even have that contact? that would be very hard because I have always told her that I would always be there for her if she needed me and if I don't answer her emails then she will think I lied.She is going through some medical issues right now and I can't very well ignore when she tells me about it now can I? and I don't understand what purpose these emails have, of course I still react to them , they are filled with love between us. I don't understand and I am sorry that I don't understand, I said before, I am not a deep thinker and maybe I am just too dense to understand!

i saw guy ,he might have glasses and a brown bag he had,one you carry on your shoulder across your chest.
well i was just saying that yourreaction shows you didn t get over things.i wasn t suggesting anything.
it s just metrying to makeyou understand the forces at work.

That is why I am here, to try and understand the forces at work. I don't think I am on the same plane of thinking that you, and many others here, are on and I am having a hard time understanding. It is not you , it is me. It doesn't make you wrong, or make me wrong, we are just not in the same place. I read and re-read what you all write and I try to look up things to see what they mean, but I don't think my brain works that way. does it make me stupid? I can't say, I only know that I feel like I am trying to understand a foreign language without taking any classes. Maybe I need to get some books and try to study up on it? But where would I start? I really don't know. I am not upset by what you said. you are correct, I am not over things, if by things you mean the relationship. I will never be 'over' her. and yes the emails confuse, frighten, depress, me and sometimes bring joy to me. are the forces wanting me to read them and discover something about myself? I don't know. I do know that I have a lot to learn about many things and I will continue to learn everyday. I already know more today than I did yesterday! So that is a good thing. Just think by the end of the year how much knowledge I will have acquired! I can't wait. Curious about the guy you saw, I don't know anyone who fits that brief description, is he dangerous in any way? Is he good, I hope? Thanks for your thoughts. your insight is greatly appreciated, as always!

i don t know he sits by a computer and then leaves,but like never to be seen again.
listen lpb,it just showedyou are still fragile what you ve learned upuntil now aboutyourself is good,i just mean that you have to keep going cause it is bigger than that,it s not like you ve undertood now everything will be back,it can t but it ll be new and better.