LBP, you really are a gracious person

I don't think you're a hypocrite. I can't imagine living in condemntation has any pleasantries whasoever. It's not hypocritical to want to retreat for a time, even years sorting through what's real or not.
When relationships fail, we lose another person's reality. What they thought of us, why didn't it work, etc.? Throw in a difficult outside world and it can feel like Hell, literally.
You're still you and out of the milleniums of evolving particals out there, something bigger than all of us put together, thought enough to bring someone such as youself into this world.
If out of this experience, you found us...well we as a group are a better bunch for having you a part of it.
That right there can be a cornerstone of strength. All any of us need is a starting point. From there possibilities are endless no matter what influences we've got going on in our lives going on.