BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Where are MY rights?

Swearbear, sorry to hear you've been personally attacked on here, that isn't right. There is absolutely no need for name-calling or abuse, we are all adults and it's perfectly okay for us to have differing views on any number of issues. What happens and what is the cultural norm in other countries is also completely irrelevant. I mean laws are in place that now mean we cannot go about in public in the nude. These laws are in place because society has changed. What may have been perfectly okay millenia ago could never reoccur now. Some things we cannot go back on. Of course for me to walk about my house totally naked is fine, because society is mature enough to see the difference between various situations. We are capable of weighing up risk. Mothers are not exempt from using some common sense and also from showing respect to their surroundings and the other people in the vicinity. It might not be a legal issue but there is no problem with expecting mothers to show some respect to others. We all should. If I'm at a nice restaurant with someone I expect to have their undivided attention, not have them going on to feed a child in my presence (I don't care what anyone says, your brain is distracted). I agree though that for some women their children are an attention-seeking tool. All people really ask is that mothers not be exempt from human norms and courtesies like being aware of their surroundings and having respect for others. Interestingly I read recently a report showing that children who have stressful childhoods are far more likely to suffer from depression as adults. Thing is that stressful was defined to include very simple things like not having a set routine for eating, sleeping etc! It's funny, I have a friend whose husband has to go in and out of hospital and they have chosen to fit their child's routine (including eating and sleeping times) around his hospital visits. This seems sensible to them, they think eating together is important. However, the reality is that a lot is known about child psychology and it is all very fixed, and when your situation changes you are still required, as a parent, to change your child's situation as little as possible, no matter how much more difficult it makes things for you. The women who was doing the breastfeeding was not being fair on her child dragging it out to a restaurant.

Touchy subject, but isn't there an old saying that goes something like "there is a time and place for everything"? It's not a right, or a privilege on either end of the argument, it's called "common decency" which is obviously on the decline. There is a increasing number of facilities offered where women can go and nurse in privacy. The baby won't starve if their not fed right at the second their hungry. I'm positive the baby will survive a couple minutes as you walk to these facilities. I feel that if smokers must restrain themselves in grocery stores, and other establishments until they get outside to smoke. Why can't a woman restrain herself until she reaches the bathroom in order to breast feed? Is it so inconvenient to be polite anymore?

So true Jennifer. But common decency has gone out the window with many mothers these days, as has the sacrifice part (I blame the media for that one). Thankfully I was recently out for dinner with a mother who I just think is brilliant. I had suggested maybe going to a more child-oriented place sometime but she refused this idea as she prefers to have her rare nights out just with adults and detests when those nights are ruined because other people drag their children out way beyond a suitable bedtime. As she said "my kids would be bored being forced to sit at a table all night just so I can have a night out, how is that fair?" She refuses to take her children to proper restaurants until they are old enough to sit happily through the meal, and on the occasions that other family members have held 'occasions' at restaurants and she's felt obliged to take her children she hasn't enjoyed it because she's constantly watching them, and her kids are well-behaved by today's standards. I wish more people considered what sitting at a restaurant table is like for a young child before dragging them out.

I don't believe it is okay to show your breast under any circumstance. It personally offends me when people run around looking half naked or doing things I think are inappropriate. But that's the world we live in and I have to accept a lot since I can't change much. But as for breastfeeding, ever heard of breast pumps? Mothers can certainly pump their milk or do it more discreetly when others are around. It's just plain rude to plop your breast out in public regardless of the reason.

This is not about socialization. This is about a person's own point of view. Some religious, some not. Their personal feelings and opinions. Not everyone is going to be pleased with what others do. One thing we do have a right to do is complain. And I think if Swearbear wants to let her feelings known, she should be able to do so freely here.

There's no point in arguing over the matter. Just say your peace and end it. Agree, disagree, whatever. We all have an opinion.

I was reading OK magazine today, and what should I read, but a celebrity talking about breastfeeding. Quote ; I'll breastfeed anywhere, in coffee shops, on air when I'm recording, in restaurants. if I get odd looks I just smile back - people give breasts a sexual identity, but as far as my baby's concerned, it's dinner time. I honestly couldn't care less.' I think she's under the misguided opinion that people are ogling her boobs in a lustful,complimentary way.... That sums it up really. Some expect to do what they want when they want. If you complain ? you're a stick in the mud. Plus, if it's in the glossy magazines, as being the thing to do with child, then no wonder it's becoming the norm.

In my opinion, what this celebrity does is animalistic behavior in that the physical need automatically trumps human social convention. When I see a woman do this, my opinon of her, her intelligence, her couth, automatically nosedives. I understand there are those who feel justified in feeding baby in whatever manner and in whatever environment they find themselves in at the moment. However, since this is often described as a bonding experience, I cannot also understand how these same people justify their actions based purely on base physical need. I honestly believe women have the right to breastfeed in public, but that right needs to be balanced with the society the woman is in. Unfortunately, many women seem to be unable to make those fine distinctions. These are the same women who are likely to let their kids run rampant in public later on. They just cannot see what is appropriate public behavior when it comes to their children. I think it's a pathology that could be defined as a mental disorder.

Perhaps society needs to change. Once upon a time we wore dresses to our ankles and collars to our chins. We were also beaten by our husbands with state laws mandating the maximum size of the switch.

We were also forced by social convention to feed our children toxic baby foods that provided inadequate nutrion and toxic fats in them and soy based formulas that have exteme hormonal influences on a baby... and for those who go for cows milk there is an abundance of toxic growth hormone in much of that and no living,live promoting probotic flora or antibodies.

Stick with conventional social rules and you are a dead duck and our society is proving it out with increased chronic diseases, and especially disease in childhood including allergy, astham, food intolerance and cancer.

Much of this can be prevented by a natural god given diet.

Those who project shame have a lot of shame inside.

Gaynor, it kind of sounds like she is actually wanting to be looked at and lusted over. Mind you, she is a celebrity so that probably is the case. Indeed she's probably breastfeeding as indiscreetly as possible to GET attention. What a saddo.

As for why we are being inundated with [censored] about celebrities being parents and their opinions on parenthood and stuff, frankly I think any parent who takes parental advice from a celebrity is a moron and shouldn't breed.

Probably hurts her feelings that she will be seen as less of a sex object now that she is a mother, not more of one. Awwwww, what a shame :-D

Saddo - love that Random ! Arrow, wow, I didn't know husbands had a right to beat their wives !! Society is a very complicated structure, but it shows how far we have come. I'm not sure if you're for, or against breastfeeding in public, Arrow ? If you're stuck in a lift with others, and the firemen are taking ages to get you out... you certainly should breastfeed, and not feel ashamed. i would support the mum wholeheartedly, knowing she would probably feel embarrassed, but to do so - just because you can - comes down to manners. ( just thought of the Little Britain sketch ' I'm a LADY !' ;-D

I got to admit women who do that in public I feel WANT to be looked at, WANT the attention associated with whipping out their breasts in public. Maybe their just attention grabbing, but who would want that kind of negative attention? Why would a decent mother subject their child, how ever small, to that kind of attention? Seems...wrong somehow.