BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Atheist Random Thoughts

Les wrote:
"Every year for many years on March 15, the Ides of March, I light a candle on the anniversary of my aunt's death. She was an atheist who believed herself to be culturally Jewish. My agnostic older brother, my only sibling (who by the way was very close to her and helped manage her affairs in the later stages of her life as I was always thousands of miles away) refused her request as he thought it would be "hypocritical" to do. I was her second choice and honoring her wishes said yes. Do you think that I, a self ascribed NAA (Naturalistic Atheistic Agnostic) am being hypocritical in doing so?
In all probability, this "random thought" will soon be fleshed out into an article."


I do not think you are being hypocritical, Les. You remain true to your belief system, yet for the loving memory of your Aunt you are doing something she wished for. That is not hypocrisy, that is love and just honoring the memory of your Aunt the way she wanted you to.

Good for you for being able to do this. I look forward to more thoughts and an article on this.

'Long live (or not) "unfathomable" Nessie!'

Abso bloomin lutely, Les! And all the little Nessies, maybe

And as for the year 2525....and whether man will always be the dominant species.

Surely women have already established that they are not??

Welcome back Phyllis! Sure missed your spiritual and freethinking perspectives/points of view!

Have been giving that article a lot of thought and probably will be combining it with honoring my wife's wishes when I am literally turned into (nonexisting) ashes (where will that urn find its final resting place?). I am just trying to figure out how to apply a universal principle that would pertain to the "faithful" and the "faithless."

Eileen, you sure got me! Then I guess the dominant ones must take the responsibility for the mess that the world is in now? "and you tell me over and over and over again my friend that, ah, you don't believe we're on the EVE of destruction."

Hi Les. Thanks for the welcome. It is good to be back.

Now - you have popped another random thought into my mind which will be a good subject for an article:

How are funerals or memorial services conducted for an Atheist/Agnostic person? Do family and friends gather and talk about their relation with the deceased? Are there traditions that are followed? Since you know my faith and beliefs, you will understand why I am curious and not being rude or sarcastic.

Phyliss asked (I can't imagine her ever being rude or sarcastic):How are funerals or memorial services conducted for an Atheist/Agnostic person? Do family and friends gather and talk about their relation with the deceased? Are there traditions that are followed? Since you know my faith and beliefs, you will understand why I am curious and not being rude or sarcastic.

Being from Boston, let me say that I think that this a wicked (Bostonian for "excellent" or a "lot of") good question. Also it does have the makings of a potenially wicked good article so I will keep my comments relatively brief.

For both atheists and agnostics how they "are put to rest" is a matter of personal choice (although sometimes that choice may not be honored)- if religious family members choose to disregard it. Most ath/ags, like the general public, are not misanthropic or anti-social so most would like to be honored/remembered in some sort of way. Many prior to their demise will write down what their wishes are and hope that they will be honored/respected; Some will state that they do not want any religious content at their services while others
will want those paying their respects to do so in a way that is most comfortable for the attendees even if that means some religious observations/prayers. I do not have hard data on this (yet) but I think that a high percentage of atheists have their remains cremated and many humanistic atheists donate their organs.

Consequently, for many ath/ags they realize that (although it is a "dead end"- I couldn't resist writing that as I adore mixed metaphors) their funeral or memorial service is a "two way street" in that they want to be remembered and that the service in whatever form is a way for those loved ones/survivors to grieve and to establish some form of closure as they go on with their lives.

Ultimately, there is definitely no "tradition" and it is up to the individual. I really hope that answers your question for now and I will eventually expand these comments into an article by using some personal frames of reference.

Along the similar lines, another "random thought" is how should/do atheists and agnostics handle the situation as to whether or not to attend a funeral when they know it will be of a highly religious nature. Any thoughts on that?

I think funerals/memorials are for the needs and emotions of the living, not the one who has already walked on to join ancestors (or, for your way of thinking, no longer exists).

I, too love mixed metaphors, Les. And, you answered my question quite nicely. So, now I can let my wonder about this issue 'rest in peace'.



I have attended ceremonies, memorials, funerals that are not conducted in line with my belief system -- yet I attend for to honor the memory of the person, not the religion (if it is different than mine). When everyone is silent in prayer, I just say my own tribute silently.

So -- my question was "wicked", huh? I love it!

Les - with reference to your former post: - 'Eileen, you sure got me! Then I guess the dominant ones must take the responsibility for the mess that the world is in now? "and you tell me over and over and over again my friend that, ah, you don't believe we're on the EVE of destruction."


Some may argue this is simply A DAM lie!!

Champion Elaine remarked, Some may argue this is simply A DAM lie!! grin

Defeated Les says, there is T Ruth in what you maintain!

And Eileen replies ...

Though to be called a champion
I can only gain
Still Eileen I be
And Eileen I remain

I have nothing against the girl
Though I know no Elaine
And I truly appreciate
If from now you refrain
From use of her name

Champion can only be welcomed
But I ain't called Elaine
And to be called owt else
Goes against the grain

Oh and Les
Sorry If I have made this too plain

Big OOPs Eileen! I guess subliminally I am not such a gracious loser. I did know an Elaine and she was not nearly as witty as you.