BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids felt left out with all the Christmas baby talk

At Christmas yesterday the big topic was baby conversations. Two of my cousins are pregnant and my sister has a baby. My Mom, sister and my aunts all started talking about their childbirth experiences and how they raised they're kids. I was so uninterested in this conversation and of course I have nothing to add to it. I really don't want to have kids, but hearing all the women in my family go on with their stories I just feel so left out. I wanted to get up from the table and go to the other room, but I didn't want to be rude. It's just tough to not have anything in common with the women in my family. Anyone else go through this?

ME! Same same thing here. At one point it's all baby talk b/w my sister, brother, and his wife. I was quiet and preferred to listen to my parents in another conversation. It's very frustrating to be the odd person, especially when my husband is undecided so I'm "alone" in this. At least if we were two it wouldn't be so bad.
Hang in there cause I guess it might be the same thing for New Year's?

I don't like my extended family so I am never around them but I do have the same experience around friends, co-workers and group gatherings. I usually find the women flipping (censored) boring!! And for that reason I hang around the men instead of the women. You could have used the old "restroom" excuse and then just never came back to the group.

*raises hand* My family is actually pretty cool. They all have interests outside of children. I only have one sister and she has two young kids, but childcare isn't all she talks about. My friends, on the other hand, are all baby crazy, especially my closest friend. In fact, every conversation now revolves around her son, child-rearing, and the birthing process, despite the fact that I've been married 13 years and never had my own. She found out on Christmas that her brother is having twins, so now I get to hear every detail about that too, even though I hardly know them. It's becoming increasingly difficult to steer our conversations in any direction that doesn't involve parenting.

Peppery...your friend sounds really boring.

I know :( It is getting boring. I miss spending time with her alone, though her little guy is really well-behaved and sweet. -sniff- I'm hoping she'll come around as her child gets older and gains more independence. It just seems like she's in love with being a mom, and that's great...but I can't relate at all (it seems you get that), and nothing I say seems to compare or matter because she's "a mother now." I'm gonna wait it out though, as I do still care about her. Besides, I'm sure I do things that annoy her too. ^fixed a typo

I'm right with you, I turned 40 this year and have chosen NOT to have kids. And am very happy with it, however, all my friends, family have kids and that's all I hear. It's so frustrating and tiring. And no one seems to want to hears my cat and/or dog stories. LOL Hang in there. Enjoy your child-free life :)

What I thought of is to make a mental list of things you could not have done if you had kids (trip do Bali, week at a spa, dinner at a Polish restaurant) if you had kids... And bring those up when it's your turn to talk. Hopefully they'll be interested to hear?

Love, I am very lucky that my sister, nor any close family, don't have kids. When I was younger, and still sometimes now, I get feelings of jealousy at the bond women with kids have - that 'we all know how difficult it is, but we're all in this together '
And that's exactly what you're feeling - left out.
It has taken a long process, but I've come to terms with he fact that I'm just different from them.
As we've said before on this forum, not better nor worse, just different.
I know if I had kids that chat with friends and family about good times kids have brought would be the one pleasant interlude before getting back to the grind of looking after the offspring.

The last thing they want to remember is the strain on finances, sleepless nights, the loss of how it was with hubby before kids.
So in these situations, I am less wound up, knowing that they need release too.
HOWEVER. I would definately not have lasted long, as I wouldn't have wanted to sit and listen to all that, knowing i'm not interested.
as you say, I wouldn't have been rude, would have just gone to the loo more often than not, or into the kitchen, or found an interesting magazine / book, or whatever I could think of, to get out of feeling the ' odd man out .'
Hang in there, it sounds tough, but know there are many of us going through the same thing. The good thing about this forum ?
You're not alone .... :-)

That sounds about like my holiday at my cousins house. He recently had a child and suddenly, the conversations weren't intellectual or stimulating liek they usually were, they were baby centered. The baby got passed around like a piece of meat and when I refused to hold him, my cousin took offense. He took offense when I only said "Congrats" on the birth announcement on facebook. Like I was suppose to be jumping for joy along with his wife's sisters. Talking about how cute he was and how happy and excited they were to go see him. He pulled me aside and asked me why I didn't seem so happy, and I tried to be as nice as I could. I was honest though, I couldn't pretend to be excited, children just weren't my thing and I was wearing my best blouse yet. The only dress shirt I own, and I wasn't running the risk of his newborn throwing up on it. Naturally he wasn't too pleased, as the conversations went on, I simply played my hand held game, and tuned them out. I barely said a whole sentence all 4 hours we were there. Mom later asked me why I had nothing to say, and my answer was simple, becuase I had nothing in particular to add to the child centered conversation. Though my Aunt got a tongue lashing when she asked if I'd ever considered children, to that I replied "No" and when she asked why, I simply said "I'm too selfish to have kids" and that put an end to her questions. So it seems to me that my holidays, such as they are, will now be filled with a screaming child, and my family, mother included, going gaga over him. So I have to entirely agree, I felt very left out, and trust me it was a blessing to get back home to my animals! =D