BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Where are MY rights?

I am not saying anyone else is not confusing the two. But an attitude of "they are doing it so I can too" is just plain childish. And taking a nap is not a right. A child will not die if it does not take an afternoon nap therefore it is not a right but rather a luxury. I think naps are really for the convenience of the adults anyway.

Just because a person has a child does not mean their life has to end. I have several friends who are parents and still pursue their interests. Having kids does change things, that�s for sure, but an intelligent person can balance their social life with the child�s needs. Although more often than not parents become so involved in parenting that they lose themselves, it is not a requirement to be a good parent.

I'm for the mom. If you can't handle breastfeeding whenever and where ever the need arises look the other way or leave.

Breatfeeding was around long before such repressive and weird social standards.. It promotes the health and survivial of the human race. Sounds like people who exeperience life like this are controlled by the shame and blammers, the image makers and other petty tyrants, corruption though a false sense of modesty and sexual objectifivation of the female form that was designed to reproduce and nurture the human race.

If one is disgusted by the female breast how does look in the mirror without getting sick. If one is disgusted by an innocent baby feeding from the one natural and god given source of sustenance then I suspect that one has limited respect for gods creation in its most profound and pure form.

Have such women who find such disgust accepted their feminninity and power as women? or are they being controlled by a society that has been putting the powers of women into repression and slavery.

You most certainly do have the right to be disgusted and you have the right to not look and to walk away. You have the right to keep limiting yourself and repressing your heart and mind indefinately... but don't press it upon me.

I agree with SwearBear..it is not appropriate at a restaurant - especially if there was an appropriate facility within walking distance of the breastfeeding woman. The vast majority of mothers I have seen in public with their offspring are extremely disrespectful to all other patrons (whether it be a restaurant, store, post office, etc) and appear to believe they are entitled to do anything and everything they please because they have children. I witnessed a woman changing a child's diaper on a train, in spite of the fact the bathroom was literally less than three feet away from her chair. Her response to the complaints of several passengers unfortunate enough to be sitting near her? "It's a child." Honestly, if a single adult were to do something repulsive or inappropriate in public, such as exposure, there would be no question as to whether or not they were in the wrong. If I were to bring a sick, badly behaved dog to a restaurant and it vomited on the floor I would be thrown out - and rightly so- but if, as you so often see, a woman brings a squalling child that throws food on the floor and spits things up on itself while the parents casually ignore it to the aggravation of the other patrons, you are not allowed to protest. This is yet another example as to the irritating sense of entitlement the majority of women with children feel - "I have a child, I am priveleged, you cannot criticize me because I have a child".

I'd have to disagree with you Kat and say that sleep is a right, I say this because it is a fundamental need, especially for children. Funny thing is if kids had more sleep they would behave better so the parents are just making their own job harder. I'm not with the 'women can have it all' generation, my parents' generation managed to get on with having kids and actually make sacrifices (time and financial) for them, it is only today's generation that seem to think they don't have to make any sacrifices. My sister had no hassle at all fitting her life around her kid's needs, it's amazing how easy it actually is when you aren't completely self-centred, and of course having the kids in a routine is very beneficial for when they start school. Mercedes, so with you there. Changing nappies is a health and safety issue and should not be done on public transport, in shops, cafes, restaurants or anywhere like that, it should ONLY be done in changing rooms (or your own car if needs be). Next time someone does it I would consider trotting out the health and safety argument. And I wouldn't take any "it's natural" nonsense because it's natural for me to poo also but I don't do it in public.

Okay, so I'm going to throw this out there, see how ya'll react. The act of breastfeeding itself actually doesn't bother me. In my career as a biologist, it's probably one of the least horrible things I've seen. BUT, I do understand how it could be disconcerting to others. I know it makes my husband uncomfortable. When my sister-in-law was breastfeeding, he'd always leave the room even though he didn't have to (she didn't care).

I really can't remember the last time I saw a woman breastfeed in public (maybe I just don't notice?). But, I'll try to make a mental note that if I spot a woman breastfeeding in a restaurant or store or something, I'll just STARE at her. If she wants to do it in public, fine. People in public can be seen. I won't be one of the awkward crowd that tries to avoid looking in that general direction. I'll just stare her down. See if she enjoys the audience. Hehehe.

Even those new blankets or screens that hide the baby bother me.

You know what they are doing and that should really be a bonding time between mother and child.....not between mother, child and table 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Reading these arguments by people - they are right! If you choose to have a child, you better be ready for the sacrifices (and there ARE sacrifices).

I told the bf about this topic and he said that women who want to breast feed in public should be required to carry popcorn with them for those who want to watch.

I am with Kat1980 here. As much as I am grossed out by breastfeeding, I think, or rather, I know, it is my problem. Some people may be grossed out by, I don't know, warts. So should people with warts not go to restaurants to not gross out oversensitive customers? Countries are different, where I come from, going to a restaurant is very often a familiar activity where three generations might celebrate a birthday or the fact they were not in the mood to cook. And meals take a couple of hours. I don't thing young mothers who want to do what according to all health authorities is best for their children should be banned from society because someone has a disturbed reaction to a biological function, which BTW it is not loud nor stinks nor makes anything around dirty. Oh! and in my experience, babies in breastfeeding age can sleep everywhere.

What I always do is sit with my back to them, changing chairs, if necessary.

Not that I'm picking sides. It's funny that some call it a "right" when they feel that it is something that definitely affects themselves, but when they talk about mothers they label it by calling it a "sense of entitlement". Just an interesting argument when you look at both sides that feel very strongly on the subject.

It's sad that people get SO ANGRY over such things (on both sides) when there are far worse atrocities happening in the world today.

I must say as a mom, I too would REALLY prefer not to see women breastfeeding in public. REALLY...REALLY, REALLY. But to be honest, I can't say that I've seen it too often. Maybe once or twice in the past 5 years, maybe... But I exercise my "right" or "sense of entitlement" whatever you want to call it to ignore it.

People will feel a sense of entitlement on a number of things. For example, people that stand in the middle of the aisle at a grocery store regardless of the fact that they are right in the middle of the aisle, you can't go around them - yet they still stand there without acknowledging the fact that they are in the way. In my younger days, I would purposely gently bump into their cart (acting of course like it was an accident) apologize and say oh I'm sorry, I was trying to get around you while you were in the middle of the aisle or I would make a sarcastic comment about where they choose to have a conversation. And these were people that did not have kids with them so I have no idea whether or not they were CF or had a family, but it seems to me that people that act like they have a sense of "entitlement" has nothing or little to do with kids, but rather they think the world revolves around them, they would act the same whether or not the child was with them...just like we do when we prefer people not do things that bother our sense of propriety. For example, you know what really bothers me. OMG, people that BLOW THEIR NOSE at the table in restaurants. I would put that right up there where you put breastfeeding. (Actually both would be equally disturbing to me...lol)
Just random thoughts...

Dianne, I can't stand it when people block entire aisles with their carts and their bodies (esp when they're crouching to see the bottom shelf, and their shirt and waistband are MILES apart). I also get aggravated when I'm entering a doorway of an establishment, and whomever is in front of me just stops to look around as soon as they walk inside. I am stuck in the middle of an automated door feeling like a moron. My boyfriend calls the people "human cholesterol," and I think it's a great term. Ugh.

Not sure how I feel about breastfeeding in public. It doesn't really bother me, but that's probably because I rarely notice it. I watched the film Babies this past summer, and some of the ladies in the theatre were making really awful comments about the Namibian mother who was shirtless and breastfeeding. I just looked at it as a very natural thing to do and a very interesting way of life. They seemed actually offended by the way the people lived. I wonder if they would feel offended if they saw someone here in America do it?

Anyway, I'd rather someone breastfeed their kid at the table than spend the entire dinner on the cell phone talking to someone else. I see that all too often, and it makes me feel so sad for the other people at that table. They can't talk amongst themselves because the cell user will shush them, and they certainly aren't enjoying their dinners.

I did often find it odd that my friends with babies would call me while they were breastfeeding their kids. Several of these friends knew that at the time I was really struggling with not having my own child, and hearing the little sounds their kid would make and hearing them describe the process just rubbed salt into the wound. I don't really understand why they did that. Of course, I quit taking their calls eventually, and we're not in contact anymore anyway.