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Joined: Jul 2010
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Tiger
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Tiger
Joined: Jul 2010
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 You said what is important. BOTH people have to want to work at it. I am glad to see that you are now together  I am new to the site so I apologize form the late comment.
Long distance can work if both parties are willing to put the time and effort into making it work!
Thankfully my boyfriend and I are living together. Being apart was difficult.
We would visit one another about twice a month. In between visits we talked online, texted heavily and spoke on the phone every night for at least an hour.
It was hard but we were both willing to put in the time.
Last edited by Phenix City; 11/13/10 03:30 PM.
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Tiger
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Tiger
Joined: Jul 2010
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I am glad to see it worked out for you and CONGRATS on your marriage Long distance relationships do work. I met my now husband in 2004. He lived in Germany. He came to the States to meet me, after we had talked for a couple of months just to see if we were for real in person as we were on phone and computer. We spoke on the computer with a video cam. We spent 10 days together, away from each others homes. Was a fantastic 10 days. We fell in love immediately. We were both divorced and mature enough to know what we both wanted. We traveled back and forth and I'm glad both our jobs let us to have the time off. We were very lucky. Then in 2007 we were married, and are very happy. So yes, long distance relationships do work, but you have to both be mature and be willing to wait for each other, and spend as much time as possible with each other.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Tiger
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Tiger
Joined: Jul 2010
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Wow, your post said it all!!! Thank you for sharing yes, they can work, even if you haven't met in person or it has been/will be a long time before you meet. but...
you have to establish a foundation of trust, honesty, integrity, compassion, and tolerance.
i think some of the pro's are that you get to know the other person in ways you wouldn't if you were together. you have to establish very good communication skills because you can't rely on body language or facial expressions, so things can be taken out of context very easily. you have to get to know each other's style of communication and both adapt to be able to relate to each other. but the result of this is learning things about each other and in ways that aren't often found in 'face-to-face' relationships.
you learn to love and like each other for who you are emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and in so many other ways, not based on physical attraction. we often say we don't care what the other person looks like, but when you're in a long distance relationship, you find out quickly if this is a truth for you or not.
i think the biggest con is the lack of physical touch. it's very hard to be so close to someone emotionally and not be able to touch them. we need touch in our lives, esp. with people we care about on intimate levels.
can it work?? yes! will it work?? that's a choice you both have to make individually AND together. it takes a lot of commitment to overcome the obstacles, but if you really care, you'll find a way.
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You are correct; that post is fabulous !! All I can add is that
I too, met my Honey online. We communicated for three months before we even "thought" of sharing any of our geographical and more personal contact data.... true safety should Never be compromised. But the key is COMMUNICATION and HONESTY in all things. A Cell phone (or two) doesn't hurt either. The Internet is changing the way we all meet & communicate. I would never even consider actually spending anytime actually Alone with anyone you don't know/haven't communicated for very long with and advise doing some "Safety Meets" first (Public & with safety net phone call from a friend, etc) and I really think the "3mo./3yr./7yr" rule my Honey has is best = 3 months before meeting / 3 yrs before considering living together and 7 yrs. before you are even sure that person is "life-long tolerable". Too many fail to truly show all of themselves in less time than that and you are making decisions w/o enough info.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Tiger
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Tiger
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Hi AppleAnnie:
Thanks for sharing and I am glad it worked out for you.
Dating online takes alot of courage and wisdom as there are so many "con" artists and "weirdos" out there.
Angela
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I met my bf online, and he lived about 100 miles from me. He drove to my place a couple of times so we've spent time together, plus emails, I M and a few phonecalls. We kept in pretty close contact which was really nice. I decided to move to be closer to him .My daughter also lives in the same city so it was more that than him, really. But since I moved I haven't seen much of him, and he's said a few things that I didn't like, so as for long distance relationships working, I thought mine was, but now I'm not so sure. It takes a lot of work keeping communication flowing, and I guess it just depends on how bad you want each other, and how much your willing to compromise. As for my situation..the jury is still out!
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Hi Cosmickitty64: Thanks for taking the time to respond to my post. I am glad to see that you do have your daughter there just in case you decide to walk away from your relationship. It is no fun being stuck in a strange city with no one who cares. Best of luck! Angela
Last edited by Angela J. Shirley; 01/10/11 11:33 PM.
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Feb 2011
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I've been in LD relationship for the past going on 7 years. We were in the same city for the first 3 months then he left to go to school in another continent for 9 months. I visited for a week. Then he moved again for school to another continent.
I moved to be with him and we lived together for 2 years. Then I moved back home to another state and would go visit when I could. I'm a flight attendant so travel is no problem for me I just jump on a plane and go. Then he moved back but but we still live in different states and I still go visit when I can.
LD relationships can work if both parties want to make the effort.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Tiger
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Tiger
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,412 |
Yes, I remember those days - I was a flight attendant for 2 years at age 18, now 52.
The challenge I found since I never got off reserve (gas crisis hit when I got out of training), was scheduling time off. My then hubbie (now divorced) lived in Jamaica where I am from, I worked in St. Louis, Missouri. Lucky for me, one of the schedulers took me under his wing and make sure I got my flight time in the beginning of each month. Otherwise, I would never be able to fly back to Jamaica.
How long have you been flying?
I don't miss the being "snowed in" at all (lol). But glad I got a chance to do this as it had been a dream I had in school.
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