BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Do open marriages work?

Does anyone know of anyone who has made an open marriage work? I get the sense that people try and fail. I'd love to hear if anyone has made it work.

I've never tried it, but I "virtually" ran into an old friend who told me that he and his wife had an open marriage. He was away alot - a civilian stationed overseas. He said that they both saw other people while he was away from home. Nothing ever happened between us, but apparantly THEY didn't have an open marriage - he did.

I don't see how that could work, wheres the respect for the other partner? Or Vise Versa. If your not respecting your partner your definitely not respecting yourself.

I know of several people in open marriages that are working and have been working for years. I've dated people who were in open marriages - my rule is that if someone tells me they are in an open marriage, I need to hear it from their spouse and I've had several guys who suddenly weren't interested in me anymore when I said that. On the other hand, if they really are in an open marriage, it's not only no problem but major points in your favor from both of them. That's the kind of honesty that seems to be necessary to have a successful open marriage. Most people aren't able to be that honest with one person, let alone several.

Most of the open marriages I've seen that weren't successful are unsuccessful because of problems that would have made a closed marriage unsuccessful. For instance, one partner who always puts his or her wants and needs ahead of their spouse.

Julie

It rarely works. Not that it can't, but it takes very unique personalities to make it work.

Sex is bonding and intimate. Emotional connections are hard to sever. Couples run the risk of one falling in love with a third party.

I have a hard time seeing an open marriage being able to work. I�m with Lori on this one i feel the bonding and true emmotions,with feelings are very important in a marriage.

My opinion is the same as swinging: Once you are married - the dating stops!

I'm not asking so much what people think of open marriage, just whether or not people know any couples for whom it works. :-) I'd like to see that it might work for people. I realize there is no rule book for it - it's pretty alternative. DH and I have no kids and only live in the same area of the country half the year. We are not ready to not be involved as support and family to each other. But we have pretty much a sibling relationship.

So we are thinking about different ways to create 'family' with each other that is not conventional. I'd love some advice.

I think there was a old thread by a woman who had an open marriage (in the marriage forum). Seemed to work for them.

Lori - thanks - i will have to look for that.

I really don't know what couples without kids do. I am the only one I know. maybe going the route of openness and living apart is a natural progression, without having the structure of children as some sort of glue?