BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage How can I stop my husband to make fun of me?

You have a choice here. You can put up with it or leave him and find your own self-worth and path in life. There is no law that says you must put up with degradation.

That is part of what is called domestic violence. We have a column here on domestic violence - I suggest you read it and start making a better life for yourself.

As someone who went through 14 years of it - my vote is always to leave the situation. Honestly, until he recognizes what he is doing and stops, there may be nothing you can do but leave.

The longer you stay, beleive me, the worse your self esteem will get. You end up repeating your pattern with the men you find after that.

If he really loved you and respected you - he would not do what he is doing. Your friend could probably also use this advice.

No one should abuse someone they love like that....and furthermore - no one should stay in a relationship where they are being abused - verbally, emotionally, or physically.

Sorry, but what he is not making fun of you, he is really mean and nasty.

I am very forgetful and my husband may make a joke from time to to time about how good it is that my head is attached to my body. THAT is a joke.

What he does is cruel: he ridicules who you are and how you look. If he thinks that is funny, he really lacks empathy, a basic human quality. You must reconsider what it gives you to be in such a toxic relation. Sorry if I am too brutally honest.

I wish you the best. And don't let him destroy your self esteem.

Answer one question: is this type of joking from your husband relatively new?

If your husband joked around with you like this before you married, then it is this style of humor. That doesn't mean it is funny. He needs to learn that humor at the expense of others is mean. It is NOT funny and you should not "get used to it." He needs to write new jokes. I wrote an article about it here:

Humor that helps or hurts a marriage

But if this type of joking around is new, it means something entirely different. It indicates that he is too cowardly to come out and express how he really feels and he is disguising his true feelings in a joke. Try, without getting angry and defensive, to discuss how he feels about your weight or looks. If he has any suggestions, tell him you are open to hearing them straight out.

If he insists he is only joking, turn the tables on him and tell a few mean jokes of your own and ask how it feels to him. "Wow, last night was over so quick that I'm not sure if I should say thank you or gezunheit. Just joking!" "Maybe your new nickname will be PP or peanut p*nis! Just joking!"

Then, the both of you should sign up for a community class on comedy so you both can come up with new schtick.

BTW, if he doesn't understand the word "annoying" then use the word "hurtful." Tell him he is hurting your feelings and making you feel bad.

If he still does not stop, he is holding onto some underlying resentment towards you and is using mean jokes as a way to vent his feelings. Not a good sign. Suggest marriage counseling!

Good luck.

Well, then your husband just has a sarcastic sense of humor. Try not to let it hurt your feelings.

But, tell him that you would like to have a good sense of humor so you will make jokes about him, too. In front of his friends who will get a good laugh about his weaknesses.

If he won't go to marriage counseling - you need to be prepared to leave. What scares me is he was treating you like this when you were engaged. You are used to this and shouldn't have to be.

I take it from your language that English isn't your first language. Whatever culture you are or country you are in - you do NOT have to put up with that treatment.