BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management Three Factors Predispose Women to Stress

Leah - maybe that is very inspiring then! Let's say we are the first generation to really juggle roles like this, where both man and woman work, and both man and woman care for the home. That means our children are the first generation to "see it being done" (even if it's not perfect) and to have some guidance on it!

I know what you mean about keeping busy. i feel intense pressure to be busy constantly otherwise I feel I am being lazy and worthless.

I like being busy! I can organize and prioritize my life very well. When I am done with one thing, that is it! I don't think about it until I have to go back to it. I work full-time and had a part-time job for 5 years. I quit the part-time job when I started getting burned out and not doing a good job at it. I am a single parent to an 11 year old son and go to school online. Being a single parent to an 11 year old son has been the most challenging! Ann

Hi my son and daughter in law share the work load -- both have jobs, both do housework and both share the childcare of their two young children. My son works at "mr mom" usually 2 days a week while my d-i-l is working and she does the same on the other three days. They apear to share all aspects of work, inside and outside the home as well as caring for their children. However, I have noted that when it comes to making decisions on the little childrens' routines, doctors appointments, clothing they need etc, that my daughter in law is the one who ultimately has final say in these things. Both appear happy with this arrangement. Son has some imput of course - they talk about stuff and decide together -- but generally my daughter in law is the final decision maker in this area. She's also the one that gets up nights with the youngest. My son will attend their oldest child during the night but this is rare. So my son is generally getting better sleep than my daughter in law. Although he does make big efforts to get up early and feed and attend to kids needs in the morning so she can catch up on sleep. But she's looking more tired than he is so I'd say that during the night she's carrying the major load, there. Oh, the beauty of it. My son has admitted to me, his whole family and his workmates, that it's easier to be at work outside the home than home all day caring for two little ones. He loves the opportunity to be there with them as they grow and be a real hands on parent but acknowledges that it's more demanding work the days he's home doing it than the days he's out in the outside workforce. The beauty of it for me: Traditionally young mothers take their little ones visiting to their mother's places. I'm speaking generally but I did. So my mother got to see more of her grandkids than my husband's mother did. But with my son being a 'mr mom' means I get to see my grandkids when he comes visiting me on his days 'on' with my grandkids. Of course, this wouldn't be possible if I was out at work during the week as so many women of my age are, but I have a chronic illness that prevents me working outside the home.

Hi,

Sometimes I feel that we are going to feel a deep need to go back toward some good traditional family habits that we have lost with modernity.

What do you think ?

Faysal Hafidi

It's good to have things to do - but it's also good to have quiet time to rest and meditate. So it's about finding that balance.

interesting thoughts. i particularly think reasons 1 and 3 you listed is totally true -- women definitely have more stress because they feel a need to take on more work and please everyone!

great information really helped

Even on the Biggest Loser today there was a mom and Jillian went right over to her, sensing that the mom always put everyone else's needs first. Her own health came last.

When I grew up, my mother worked 40hrs a week, as did my father. But my mother also had the duties of cooking supper everyday, cleaning the house, ect....
But she did it all with a smile on her face, and never complained. I believe she just believed this is how it is supposed to be done. Now, as an adult, I feel lucky to have had a mother who showed me that a women can do it all and still be happy. I think it made me a stronger person.