BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Family of two - that's it!

I feel the same way as well, i felt guilty at first and very selfish but then i realised: its because i love him so much that i feel this way. Ive seen family memebers who have had children and thier love life has been pushed back , children consuming their lives and they aren't as affectionate with each other anymore.

Aside from being just plain googly-eyed over each other, even after 25+ years, my mate and I are harbors for one another against a world in which we are a minority. Being a CF couple, we do find ourselves kind of stranded when it comes to associating with childed acquaintances and family members. They might "respect" our orientation, but there is still that gulf, made wider because neither of us really likes being around kids.

In order to associate with childed friends and family we are expected to pose a tolerance and patience that gets to be more exhausting as we grow older. As we age, it becomes harder to even want to be around these people because they expect us to regard them as a parcel with their kids (and, now, grandkids). Frankly, we are finding that we are better company to each other than to be around people who wear on us.

[quote=Dorichin] In order to associate with childed friends and family we are expected to pose a tolerance and patience that gets to be more exhausting as we grow older. As we age, it becomes harder to even want to be around these people because they expect us to regard them as a parcel with their kids (and, now, grandkids). Frankly, we are finding that we are better company to each other than to be around people who wear on us. [/quote] I couldn't agree more, that so expresses how I feel, I now dread family occassions for all these reasons,it is becoming very trying to play the part and come across with the appropriate response whenever I am regaled with the latest exploits of their amazing children. I would much rather be spending the time with my DH doing our own thing. I also relate to the original thread of this post and one of the many reasons we had for being CF was because we also wanted to devote all our time and effort to each other and we knew that bringing a child into the mix just wouldnt work for us.So many people come to that stage where they are alone after the kids have gone and realise they have nothing left,that happened to my brother after 25 years of marriage, their first holiday to themselves on there own only showed up the great gulf in their relationship and sadly they divorced.

I don't think it's selfish at all to want to have a great connection with your husband. I do think it's an unusual concept however...in my culture everyone is expected to get married, and not necessarily for love. So there's no real importance to the man and wife connection, and I would almost say the women typically have children to have someone they can relate to, and almost to distance themselves from this person they really don't have a lot in common with! I think this is one reason my husband and I are seen as so unusual in this culture, ie. of my parents' friends, none are happily married, but since divorce is taboo in our culture, they stay together and are miserable...they don't get how we can be happy with just the two of us for almost 9 yrs. now.