BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Is it always career women who stay childfree?

I'm "romantic about sex" and I'm also NOT a career woman.
I simply have no desire to be a mother.

I love some of my friend's children, but can only take them in small doses. I'm always very happy to go back home to my quiet space with our two cats.

I worked with special needs children and I absolutely adored them and loved working with them, but kept thinking how I could never have a child, let alone a special needs child who would be dependent on me until the day I die. (Ater all, there is absolutely no guarantee that you will end up with a healthy child). I've seen what that does to a couple and to the rest of the family. I would come home from work absolutely drained and would ponder: "Imagine if, after being with the children at school all day, I now had to take care of my own family: cook, homework, bath, laundry, etc". There's no way I could do that and stay sane.

I also have suffered from depression on and off since being a teenager plus, I never had the urge to run to a baby like all the girls around me nor did I ever want to babysit when I was younger (I felt like a misfit, to be honest, until I found this forum three years ago!). Funny though because children are drawn to me and I'm very good with them... How does that work? So of course I always hear ("Oh you're so good with children! You'd make such a great mother!) So annoying.

Well I am definitely a career woman, always knew that was my priority in life. I'm currently doing a PhD and loving it, and can't wait to be working in the field. I worked for a while before returning to grad school, and you would not believe how many people have told me they could never go back to school because (enter reason: not enough money, don't want to quit their job, mortgage payments etc.) But the number one reason is kids. Of course people do go to grad school and also have kids, but I've seen the evidence myself that you're always going to be torn between the two, feel guilty for doing work instead of spending time with the kids. The top researchers in my field are those who put their careers ahead of family, which frankly is why men have dominated in academia for so long. It's easier for a man to be successful in the field because there's always a wife at home looking after the kids, even nowadays: I have friends where the man will just assume the woman is going to take time out of her career for years to raise the children, while he goes off on his desired career path, even if they both have the potential to have stellar careers. For a woman, if you really want to be successful it's a lot harder to juggle kids and work.

I know I might not be the status quo based on the other replies, but I DO think there can be a link between career-driven (note not "obsessed") women not wanted to have children. I put in 40 hrs a week at my job, and overtime when required, so I would consider myself "driven" rather than "obsessed". I like being one of the rare women that can afford to do this and not the one that has to leave at 3 to pick up the kids. I think it creates good promotion potential for me, whereas when you have kids, your career reaches a steady state -- of course the moms that can afford nannies for their children would be the exception of this. But career is not 100% the reason that I choose not to have kids. Most of it has to do with flat-out not wanting any to begin with, and I tend to be a control freak about things. I think that's why I would feel guilty about "leaving folks hanging" at work while disappearing to tend to a family ;-).

I say no. In fact, it's my desire to stay open to new experiences that caused me to remain child-free. I work 40 hours per week in a professional career, but that leaves time to take dance classes in the evenings, care for foster dogs, use my vacation to travel (you'll never catch me with un-used days off), read non-work-related books, spend quality time with adults, and live a balanced life. Giving your entire being to work is just as bad as giving it to kids.

For me, it is sort of reversed. The desire to avoid having kids has added incentive to be more career focused, perhaps because having a career is one reason some people will accept as a reason for not having kids.

I call myself a homemaker with no kids.

Actually, I am college educated, but never did find a career in the outside world that suited me. I enjoy being at home and cooking gourmet meals. I love to read and play piano. I do volunteer work and enjoy helping the community and society.

I googled homemaker with no kids and actually found some other posts on other forums on this topic.