BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What is your most important reason?

Hey there. I just registered today. I've been married for 5 years, and I am 24yrs old. Zero kids. In fact, I just recently confessed to him that I actually don't want children, and he was THRILLED. He has felt that way for a long time, but I clung to the fantasies I had as a little girl/young woman for a while after we got married. It never ever caused any tension. But after a lot of soul-searching and honesty, I have decided that I'd much rather spend my life loving, cherishing and pampering my husband than raising a family. As one MNK woman to another, what would you say is your most honest reason for deciding to go CF? My husband's most important reasons are the fears of raising a loser, and the financial burdens. Would you like to share yours? I'm curious about all the different ways women/men/families come to this important and exciting decision. :)

My main reason is I don't believe I would enjoy parenting. That may be an understatement, actually! Just about everything that goes with raising children doesn't appeal to me at all, and that's considering the raising of a normal child without disabilities.

Money is another significant issue, as is my enjoyment of being self-employed and autonomous. Plus the cats would never forgive me.

Raising a kid would be a tremendous responsibility ~ which I want NO part of.

Also, it would cost an astronomical amount of money.

Also,it would mean being tied down... YIKES!

Need I go on?..............

cp

Being tied down, health issues, and not really growing up in a family that was my "safety zone" - I found friends, work and pets to be my comfort in life and want to focus on those.

Mine is probably the fact that the 'thought' of raising a child makes be want to run away screaming! :-) Seriously though, I'm a preson who really needs my quiet time and I know that trying to deal with the stress and chaos that goes with parenting would simply make me absolutely miserable and resentful.

I have sooo many important reasons, but one of them is the idea that you are responsible for the rest of your life about another person's well-being. Also, I KNOW I would be the over over protective mother who would only live and breathe for her kid, and that idea is not very appealing, quite frankly. Do I want to live worrying about my kid 24/7?? NO, thank you. I like my life just the way it is.

Good point! I don't think people realize that nearly constant Worry is a fact of parenting - until it's too late...I watched my mom always overwhelmed with worry about us kids as I grew up, and I do think that is another reason why I chose not to have kids of my own.

Welcome to the forum

I feel like everyone else. But I think my one main reason would be, I just have no desire to have a kid. None at all.

It just didn't happen for me. And I'm okay with it. It did take some time for me to be okay with it though. I realize now that my life is very full without children. It's hard to explain really, but I enjoy the life I have, and I feel very blessed for the freedom it's given me.

I never had that mother instinct except with kitties. My Father told me that if I ever decide not to have children, he would pay for the operation. So, what my insurance did not pay for my tubal at the age of 29, he paid. I was engaged to a wonderful man at the time that never wanted to have kids either so I was extremely lucky. I am now 43 and we have been married for 10 years. No regrets! Good Luck and Take Care, Tami