BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce Holidays and Exchanging Children

Do you have issues exchanging children during the holidays or want to have a smoother exchange? Please read the following and let me know your thoughts.


Holidays and Exchanging Children

Great article Caroline!

I have been divorced from my 1st husband for about 11 years now, and I still hate giving up my kids for the holidays. I don't mind them visiting with their Dad, I just miss having them with me during the holiday season.

We have been lucky in that there was only 1 exchange really that got ugly - and that was in the very beginning when feelings were still running very hot and hurt. I DID see how much it upset my children, though to have their Dad and I screaming (and me crying) at each other like that, so I swore never again. (My daughter was only 2 and she was almost hysterical).

You mentioned having someone with you to be a "witness" - I think this helps so much. My (now) husband always goes with me when we meet, and usually he has his Mom with him, so it is easier to keep things light and cordial. It also just helps having someone there to support you. Plus you have someone in the car with you that you can vent to on the way back!!! (Once the kids are out of earshot).

I've never really had many issues with exchanges. I guess I am weird that way. I sometimes was happy for the break. lol

On non-holidays I like having the alone time with my hubby (thoiugh we do still have to get a sitter for our child that we have together);

but Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving - those are always HUGE family events for my side of the family and it just feels incomplete without my kids there. It is like I've got this little hole. Christmas Eve is the worst because everyone in my family (great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, all the counsins) all gather at my Mom's house for a huge celebration - and my 2 are the only ones missing.

It was really hard before David and I got together, and once we had Seth that helped - but I still want them here with me. It is the one thing I can't help being selfish about. I just don't say anything to the kids.

Thanks Ladies. I think it is important to always have support when you don't have your children with you. This can be a spouse, friends or even calls to your counselor. Support is key to keeping a positive attitude and not letting hurt emotions consume you.

If you wanted or agreed to the divorce, the hurt feelings may not exist, but it can still be hard to separate from your children.