BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids rude comment about my reproductive choices..

at a family gathering my mother mentioned to a friend that my husband and I didn't want children. WELL, what followed was a series of questions....as if I was on trial! Like a fool I sat and answered questions..lol. I told hy mom's buddy that I wanted a peaceful life undetermined by others schedules, endless stress, chaos, and financial difficulty. "That's life" she answered. "If we have a choice to avoid these things why wouldn't we?" was MY response. THE CLINCHER: She said to me, " One day you will realize it's not all about you." "You want to party and have fun now...." OK, FIRST OF ALL...I don't party, I don't drink alcohol, club, or gamble. Second of all, I volunteer, and donate to the local pantry from time to time, so don't ******* tell me that I think I'm the only important person in this world!!!!! Some people can be so judgemental and foolish!!!!!!!!!!!1

OK, first of all, this person is a major fool. She's not even a member of your family! Don't give her comments another thought. She obviously is not happy with her life, and feels the need to jump all over yours. All that matters is that you are happy. It also sounds like you were kind of cornered by your mother. Maybe you could ask your mother to not mention your personal choices to other people, esp. right in front of your face!

If this ever happens again, i suggest changing the subject, and perhaps even throwing a personal question into their face!

Well, if your reproductive choices aren't about YOU, then who on earth are they about? Certainly not some interfering, ill-mannered trout who has no interest in the outcome anyway.

I suggest asking her if she has ever had a sexually transmitted disease, and while she is turning red and spluttering, sweetly tell her that she asked you a very personal question, so you were just doing the same in return.

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I certainly don't see the sin in not having children. I think it is a much bigger problem for people to have children who clearly did not want them. While it works out sometimes, often the child faces resentment from the parent because of the lifestyle the parent had to give-up (career, goals, etc). Sometimes, these kids grow-up emotionally deprived. Don't worry about the naggings of a busy body. I would kindly discuss with your mother that you would appreciate if she did not air personal business in public. Next time, firmly stand your ground and nicely tell the person that it is a personal family matter. Change seats or walk away if they persist.

No one has a right to tell you what to do with your choices. You and your husband have the right to decide without having to explain to ANYONE.

IF and that is IF you ever decided to change your mind, then that would be your choice. At least you are wise enough to know what is in the best interest for both you as a couple and how children would be effected by your lifestyle. Good for you!!

I have always liked Ann Lander's response to people who ask nosy, personal questions:
"I can't imagine why you are asking me that!", said in a frosty tone of voice. If the boor persists, just quietly stare at her, or leave the room.
People like that don't deserve an answer.

hi, I think my mom was trying to stop the kids conversation before it started and it more or less backfired...lol. Also, I love the Ann Landers response...too funny!

I think so to so many of us when we answer these questions that people tend to ask, we do so in hopes that they will receive our answers with empathy and well wishes. It isn't that i am seeking approval, but more that I hope someone will say "good for you." lol. Oh well,at least my family is good with it!

I am guilty at times for asking questions- but I am also the kind of person that will say- If I'm being too personal, let me know. OR - If you don't mind me asking...............

I try not to be intrusive but those who keep at you like water dripping on your forehead need to get a life.

No matter what anyone has to say or think- It is YOU who has to live with the choices made!!!

UGH. What a nosy, miserable-sounding cow. Your personal life decisions are not all about you? Who ARE they about--her??? Grrrrr. Her words are in the same vein as the whole "selfish" argument and she's also assuming you're immature and just think life is all about partying...even if you were the biggest hardcore partier, that's none of her business and you shouldn't have to be pushed into a position to defend yourself. It's so easy to fall into that trap too, with explaining- but next time, try not to if you can help it. Definitely make it about the nosy person asking the questions and giving unwanted comments. "I can't imagine why you're asking me that," is short, to the point and perfect. Complete silence while staring at her with a look is also a good one.