BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I am no longer going to explain....

But I have not yet tried on a roll's suggestion, and will the next chance I get!

I have been trying so many different tactics and nothing is working. I recently let the "maybe in a few years..." line go cause it was a lie and I hated saying it. I think some people who ask just cant understand it is not their business and it is certainly not their business to change your mind or tell you that you will regret it. if anyone finds a ringer, please let me know! I like the "I am not a baby factory" I always try to keep it polite at work but someone always wants to drag it out or show me pictures and say "how could you not want this?" um...cause its not my scene. thank you very much.

I am looking for polite lines as well, because truly most of the people who ask me are just curious. I can tell the difference between someone who is going to try to argue it with me, and someone who is sincerely interested if I am going to have children. Recently a close friend had a baby shower (which I only went to because I care for her very much). Her mother asked if I was going to have children, which I felt was totally acceptable given the scene. I said probably not, we don't have family support, etc., and she was totally cool with it, just said that when she was growing up it wasn't really questioned, you just did it, and she left it at that.

It is interesting what you say about telling the difference between people who ask unbiased, just out of healthy curiosity, and those who will pick on you when you tell them you won't have children ever.

I think it works like that in every field. I have been a vegetarian for 12 years, and a lot of people(if not everybody) asks you why when they first know. At first I would come up with dozens of good reasons, from animal rights to environment, but a lot of people didn't ask me to really know, they just wanted to know which was the line they had to use to ridicule me. I am older now, and as with the children question, I think you have to really learn to tell the difference between honest unbiased questions asked by people who are open to really listen to answers, and the questions asked by people who hate the fact that there are people out there different to them.
I am convinced that people who react almost aggressive towards vegetarians feel judged in their lifestyle, like people who react aggressive towards childfree feel too.
You can take this comparisons to many fields in life. Some people don't accept that we human beings are all different, unique individuals. These people would like everybody to share their values and they feel uncomfortable when somebody is different (childfree, homosexuals, foreigners (or even vegetarians!) Some people hate the fact that there are minorities, and they are not worth an argument. A short answer and let's get them out of our way.

Sorry I rambled!

We are just going to say that we cant have them. And its not even a lie we cant because we dont want too... made more believable by the fact that i have a medical condition that would make getting pregnant (if we tried) difficult and double the risk of miscarrage and still birth.

My favorite response, " This isn't something I'm comfortable discussing with others." Although, recently, I gave in and answered a whole bunch of questions about why I didn't want kids...so...lol! But that was my CHOICE to answer. As I said the quote above ALWAYS works.