BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Sexless Marriages

You say "Jelly is right: The sexless should try to find help."
Unfortunately, I don't think she wants help for being sexless. I believe she prefers not being touched. If I could afford it I would consider marriage counseling. I have asked her to read books by Susan Page which I have found personally very helpful. The books are "Why Talking Is Not Enough:
8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage" and "How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together
Breakthrough Strategies to Resolve Your Conflicts and Reignite Your Love" these are excellent books, but she has not bothered to look at more than a chapter, even though she has told me she has seen a positive change in me after reading them.

Craig58, there are so many reasons why women have an aversion to or disinterest in sex. She doesn't think she needs help but sex provides far more than just pleasure for the husband. A healthy sex life is important for her, too. Sex provides more than passing moments of pleasure. It spurs the body to produce hormones that keep the mind and body youthful and healthy while bonding a couple.

Take your wife to her medical doctor and/or gynecologist. It isn't always a mind matter.

Meanwhile, don't let it go.

I am also in a sort of a sexless marriage at the moment because we recently had a kid and she doesn't want to use birthcontrol. I understand your feelings. I have an incrediably high drive. If you want to chat about this, email me thru YA. I think we can lean on each other. ___________________ makeyourwifehot.com

Sex is such an important part of our lives. We wouldn't be here without it! I just couldn't imagine putting that bond with my spouse on the side as if it didn't matter so much. To think it helps reduce the risks of cancer for my husband makes it even more important to me, not to mention how it improves my overall health. I would say pursue a passionate relationship relentlessly. If you need help, go to the happyher.com/blog and look around for the articles about why sex is good for you. Who knows, maybe you'll just be able to talk your spouse into something extreme like the 101 Day Sex Challenge!

I looked at the 101 Day Sex Challenge. My wife would recoil from such an idea. I am trying to get a 1 day challenge from her. Asking for 101 days is asking for the impossible. If I asked her to read the challenge herself she would reject it. She would reject anything that comes from www.happyher.com before even reading it. She would not be please with me or anyone suggesting she visit a website the sells erotic products of any kind. Ever since I have known my wife, 24 years now, I have never been able to get her to tell me a single romantic or erotic fantasy she has ever had. Despite my asking her, even in the earliest days of our relationship, I have never heard a single romantic or erotic notion from her. I don't know if she's ever had an erotic fantasy of any kind. I know she would never admit it if she did.

It is what it is? huh...wtf is going on here? Does anyone like to have orgasms anymore?! I admit some times I'm tired, but that's what the weekends are for! or i mean..just have a "quickie"- Get a little kinky with it. Go to his office on lunch time and have your sexy time. It really doesn't matter how old you are..because its true when life gets busy its hard to make time for sex. I understand that...solution: MAKE TIME ! "It's very sad when a once beautiful marriage ends up torn apart just because two people couldn't find it in themselves to try and come together." YEAAA! Come together! LMAO I think ppl who arent dtf have more issues then you think..self esteem issues for 1. So you better check yourself...with or without kids..isnt all that moving up and down on each other what got you in that place to begin to. Dont blame it on the kids...thats what grandmas are for right? Babysit? LOL I've been told by some girls my age! that they simply wont do it..because they don't want to get pregnant again. -Everyone has a different reason..but religion shouldn't be an obstacle. That's just ignorance.. My advice to all of you closet freaks ...*Keep the fights clean but the sex DIRTY!* Life is short

Betzabe, I agree with what you say. However, it takes Two to Tango. If only one wants to tango and the other doesn't then nothing happens.

Well there sure is truth to it. Besides, if only one is interested and the other is just going threw the motions, how enjoyable would that be? If that was the case then why be bothered?

Craig- Is she experiencing the change of life? Have you discussed this with her? I read the thread but didn't notice anything said about it. Also- I know this may be a hard pill to swallow, but is there a chance she is having an affair?

Dragoncharmer, my wife is years passed menopause. She did have some issue from her youth, which she has never fully explained to me. I know she has her personal reasons. I have tried being patient and supportive as I can over the years. Now, all I feel is rejected.

Craig,

So sorry to hear you feel this way. Trying to discuss this with her hasn't been effective at all? Well maybe things can work itself out. Have you tried counseling or suggested it to your wife?