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Joined: Sep 2008
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 130
Hi lcp,

Talk about wanting to pull inwards, I want to pull the covers over my head until everything is resolved!!!

I really do feel like my fiance and I are drifting apart,and that does frighten me, but he says he's not feeling that, "I'm the same as always". But we're not the same as we were before all this happened.

I yelled at him tonight because I was angry with my self, and I did explain that I was angry with ME, not him, and he reiterated what I had just said, and I told him again that I was angry with myself not him.

We're not communicating like we have before. He's running himself into the ground physically so when we go to bed at night he falls right to sleep.

We've made love maybe three times since April and that's going from 3-4 times a week, so yea, I am a bit concerned. And I am a bit concerned that he's can't sit still, and he really is working himself into the ground, maybe in order not to think too much.

He has said if he goes to a certain place he'll lose it, meaning he'll really lose it, maybe running himself into the ground stops him from going to that place at night.

I get in bed at night, we kiss goodnight and I lay there with my eye's open and think. I end up getting out of bed, watching TV, reading the boards and doing homework. It's now 12:30am and he's been asleep for an hour and a half and I am wide awake....





anamcara
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Elephant
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Elephant
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Hi Anna,

You sweet thing. You've had one hell of a year. That's for sure. My cycle lasted 7-10 years. Every unimaginable person, negative situation, you name it, it found me. I finally shouted to the Universe, God/higher source, what have you, "I'M DONE!"

The only energy having a running force was negative. So, here I was trying to write and be inspirational while everything I have ever worked for poured through my fingers into ashen rubble. I gained and was layed off 3 jobs in a row, diagnosed with elevated Lymphosites, was in an abusive relationship and every 3 months or so was in court with the abusive spouse, miscarriage, etc. I think I weighed 98 lbs. I wanted to die.

One day, I did nothing. I mean from sun up to sun down I stared at the ceiling and counted the specks on the tiles. I came up with 53,700. It was the most productive day I had had in a long time. It was that bad.

The funny thing was that when I would even try to do something else the stove would blow up or the mop would split down the middle, I'd step on glass or sit on a fire ant hill (no joke), I even went out to my garage one morning and south side was missing. Two weeks later a semi broke in two and the cab ran into the lawn taking down every electric wire their was and my well blew up. So, I continued counting specks,tiles, it was safe and for awhile was the only positive I had. What I noticed was that the negative energies outside of my counting specks still continued. It was like a tornado I wanted no part of. Everyone's life around me was in chaos and my relationship with my husband now was the only light which was hanging by a thread. I even convinced myself whatever was going on around me would infect him so I decided to live in a homeless shelter. I'm really considering writing a book on all of this.

Anyway, he tracked me down and said I was the only real thing in his life. To him I was a ship weathering a storm no other boat ever would be able to manage. He told me I couldn't see that because I was in the eye of Universal chaos.

This is what I see in you smile

________________________

Elleise
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Karen Elleise
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Koala
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Koala
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Anna, you nailed it with the word "Resolved." Here's one of the differences I've accepted between my husband and I. He wants to "Fix" it, I want to "Resolve" it. For me these two terms are not the same.

A "Fix" can be temporary, a Resolution is generally not. Although sometimes I will settle for a "Fix." (pun certainly not intended).

A well timed "OK, is there anything I can do to help you with this?" works well to draw us back together. In the midst of you fighting your own battles, it's a little reminder that his battles are just as important to you, and of the importance of working on them together. Sometimes, a break from your battle to help work on his can be helpful to both.

I hope some of this is helpful. I honestly know how hard it is to get through cycles like this.


Jane Winkler, Editor
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I apologize for popping in...but I am a bit confused. Is this an active forum? I ordered an e-mail consultation yesterday..... I came here and noticed some posting have the 2005 year????? I am about lost! hehehe! If this is an active site, would somebody let me know. Because I would love to be a part of it. perhaps I am forum "challenged"...but I am seeing 2005 dates, then I have seen 2008.... then 1 post talked about 2009. And I feel really dumb, because if this is active, I just sent Eleise an e-mail saying to refund my money because I think this is an inactive forum-website! YIKES! and YES, I have had my coffee this morning too! hahahaha!!! so anyone "active" in the forum with a little insight for me, I'd sure love it! In much Love & much Light! (((((HUGS!)))) -April

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Hello. I'm fairly new too, but from what I've seen the ladies that are online at the time are great about answering. I've yet to see any requests for anyone's money. I think you will enjoy talking on this sight.

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oh good! so it is active! Yay! I actually paid on her main site. I thought she'd be lovely to help me out! Especially since I felt the Angels led me to her! I am so happy this is active! Now I feel incredibly dumb for writing her an e-mail asking for a refund! UGHHH! I am actually going through transition and my marriage is healing but we are going our separate ways...... basically healing up old unfinished business...... I am just a desperate wreck! I am ready for this cycle to be over!!! I have cried, forgotten what I was supposed to be doing.... just all over the place! UGH UGH UGH! I know after its over I will be able to laugh at this all, but right now sitting in the middle of this painful yuck, its just alot for me right now...... but I feel soooooo stupid for writing her asking for a refund... I just feel sooo broken and lost and unsure of myself!And I am super sensitive anyways...so this is pretty hard. I am at peace about our separating....its just all the stuff in between...the unknowns, the where what and why's! I am so sorry for grieving here....and rambling on! I just needed to I guess! Thank you!!! In much LOVE & in much LIGHT! ((((HUGS!)))) -April

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Remember that you are the Creator's daughter firat,and try to focus on any good thing that he gave you including yourself. When you are happy with yourself, you will be happier with a man. Let your grieving strengthen you instead of bringing you down. You will find things will become plainer if you try to walk in harmony with situations and try to remeber who you are. Be Blessed!

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Thank you! seriously! I went and took a bath, and of course my 4 yr. old daughter had to hop in! ;-) but it was still a peaceful place!!!! It felt good to just relax and center myself and wash the grime away and be still with my little one! I have 4 beautiful children I am so blessed to have! I am learning to be happy alone and even in turmoil find serene moments! Transition is difficult. The tears roll and so many things seem up in the air! I have had transitions before, but nothing this BIG! But, I know on the other side of it, I will be a much better women for it! thank you for your positive words of encouragement!!! (((HUGS!))) In much LOVE & in much LIGHT! -April

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Elephant
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Hi April!

This is an active forum but there are some topics that visitors lose interest in and they sort of go to the bottom of the list.

Thank you for telling me about the email consultation as well. When someone orders a course or consultation payment is run through Paypal. Paypal then forwards an email to me. This has failed to happen now twice, yours making a third after being addressed and told it was a glitch????

I will post something here as a new topic but first will go into Paypal and let them know what is going on. I will also check for you on the consultation.

I appologize sincerely and thank you so much for for letting me know.

BRB

Also - before I forget, here is my email to contact me directly and you can PM me as well and I will get that too.

clairvoyance@bellaonline.com

Speak with you shortly!

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Karen Elleise
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Jellyfish
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Thank you Elleise, for your wonderful words of inspiration and a reminder that while everything outside of us is chaotic my fiance and I are an anchor for each other during any storm. I can't tell you how many time's he's told me I keep him grounded. I suppose since we're each dealing with things outside of us, it would be natural for those things to affect us as a couple in some way or another, even if it's for a moment. And really, I see all this as a "moment" in our lives, not something that will be with us forever, because nothing is with you forever, lives are constantly changing even when we we're not aware that our lives are changing.

And, your recent article regarding negative times in one's life is correct in that these times help us to grow, sometimes as an individual, as a person and ofcourse spiritually as an individual and as a couple.

Thank you for the article, perfect timing as usual, lol!









anamcara
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