BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids List of Reasons for Not Having Children

29. No "forced" socializing with kid's friends, parents of kid's friends, birthday parties, soccer games, etc!!

I dont have any reason really other then I just dont want them and I dont feel the drive. I like and kids and have a very good idea of what it takes to raise them and so I know you must really really want that life before you commit to it. Im sure Id love a my child if I had one but Im also sure I would not love my life.

My only other reason is I didnt really like being a kid myself. I didnt have a dreadful childhood or anything but the first time I was ever really happy was college.

its just dawned on me how much I really don't like kids... I feel awkward around them... but I'm always trying... my friends just had a baby... and I can positively say I don't particu;arly like kids... and yes I pretend to like them....why? can anyone tell me why? I wonder....

I just don't

[quote=leahmullen]I still have to say that I am fascinated by this forum because I was an adult for 10 years, and together with my husband for 7 before I had a baby and no one ever asked me to justify myself as to why I was married without children. Even my husband--who saw himself as a father--didn't pressure or question me. EVER. But in regards to this thread. I think one major reason for not having children, is that this is not a child friendly socieity. It's not. It takes a village to raise a child and the U.S. is an individualistic society and the children don't get what thy really need because of it. [/quote] I have never met a CF man or woman (and I run a CF forum) who has ever said the reason they are CF is because we live in a child unfriendly society (I have no idea where you live but I find it is totally the opposite in the UK and the States)! Frankly your reply was spoken like a mother, not someone who understands the CF. It does not take a village to raise a child, just good parents who understand the rest of us do not wish to be involved with your children. It's a lifestyle choice. However to answer the question, my reason for not wanting children is simple, my husband and I do not have anything missing in our relationship to want or need a child. We both have good careers, excellent marriage, great social life and have travelled far and wide.

No messy home
No messy car
No forced birthday parties, soccer games, or boring school functions.
No screaming for a Happy Meal, when you would rather dine at Ruth's Chris.
No middle of the night crying
continued romance and sex with your S/O
Vacations every year at places other than Disney World
You don't have to listen to Hannah Montana or Jonas kids
Sleeping in
gourmet food, not food in the shape of animals
my breast are as firm as when I was 25 and so is my stomach
no post birth issues such as bladder leakage, strech marks, and sagging skin
Money to save
No worries about how to pay for college
Did I mention all the time in the world to pursue my interests and hobbies?

I can list dozens of reasons why I don't want kids, but shouldn't the primary (and only) reason be "because I just don't want them"??? Not for any particular reason, but just because you don't have the desire. I don't think we should procreate just because we are "that age" or because we've been married for a certain number of years, or just because we can't think of any reason not to. I think the burden should be on proving that you have a good reason to actually have kids, not that you have a good reason *not* to have them. Becoming a parent by default doesn't seem like a good enough reason to me. If you don't actively *want* a kid, you shouldn't have one. You shouldn't have to list specific tangible reasons why you're not having one.

I absolutely agree, I wrote something similar in some other thread. These lists exist only because people who don't want kids are used to justifying themselves to the world, and they are a lot more used to rationalizing their choice than people who want kids. An orderly environment or a little extra money for restaurants and holidays are just secondary reasons to the main one: Not wanting them.

Excellent point. While these kinds of lists are fun, and we should keep it going, [b]it's definitely a good idea to stay focused on the main and best reason not to have kids, which is simply not wanting one[/b]. Shouldn't that answer be enough to satisfy someone? If everyone in a particular neighborhood was buying a boat, except for one neighbor, wouldn't everyone just accept his explanation of just simply not wanting a boat? If only it were that easy! I remember once telling a Catholic mother of five once that I didn't have the desire for kids one day, and she just gave me this blank look of slight confusion/shock and didn't say anything. One of her kids now has four kids. I can't imagine growing up in a household with that many siblings (oh, and her mom ran an at-home daycare) and wanting to have four kids of my own! But... to each his own! Ok, back to additional, less important reasons: Being able to enjoy peaceful, relaxing evenings and mornings.

well, thats just the thing tho' who is the someone we should be trying to satisfy? This morning as I took my shower and I was thinking about this... I thought... yeah!!! I don't need a reason. Who needs a reason!! Good on you ladies...I don't actually have one, I have to cnjure up advantages just to "satisfy someone" but no, I don't have a reason per se... I just don't want. I guess we were all trying to figure out what was wrong with us, but we didn't need to. We really don't I LOVE LIFE!! isn't fantastic that you are you? And not anybody else...