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Midlife is supposed to be a certain age range, yet I do not see how that can apply to everyone. I do not know when my midlife began or will begin because I do not yet feel "old". I try to avoid labeling anyone, including myself, as to whether I am mid-life, elderly, etc. I am 64 and never think of my "label" for my age - except when I go to a resturaunt and get the "senior discount" laugh. Emotionally and mentally I am still young.

My mother is 84 and still works part-time and loves it. She is very active and alert and refuses to slow down because of her age. If anyone calls her elderly, she gets upset and denies it, with a smile.

Last edited by Phyllis, NA and Folk; 07/09/09 04:16 PM.

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I agree with all of you who have said that your age is just a number- I have never referred to myself as middle-aged but it is when others see you as middle aged- you go oh- huh- I guess I am!!
I am as young as I feel-and I intend to attack my mid-life with comedy-I'm going to laugh my way through it all!

Mary Caliendo


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I imagine it will be for me when I am empty-nested. A big transition period. I'll be 51 then...

Nicki :-)


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OMG Nicki - As I've been reading through all of the posts here, I think that's it - when your kids (in my case, it was just one). I didn't think anything of it. I was a single mom (though her father was very much in the picture). I had a great job and supported her and I and told my ex that I didn't want child support. I've heard all kinds of stuff about how child support is for the child, blah blah blah - but for me, it was a freedom issue. Put the money in the bank for her later, do what you want, but don't send the money to me. I had it going on. I had a boyfriend, who was 13 years younger than me! Ahh, life was good. The week my daughter graduated - I was laid off from my job; my boyfriend boyfriend (we were together for 5 years) broke up with me, announcing to me that he was gay! And then, the worst part, my daughter decided that she no longer wanted to live with me, that she was going to take care of herself. Suddenly I felt like that everything I'd spent the last 18 years doing was all in vain. That was all about 12 years ago. My life has changed DRASTICALLY ! I did some things, that even I, swore I would NEVER do. I learned so much over the past 12 years and have gone through so many experiences, the woman I was in 1998 is barely visible (personality wise). "Middle age" for me, is now. I'm 49 and find that my views and perception of people is less critical. I'm more accepting, and also more at peace with myself. There was a time during those 12 years that I wasn't middle aged, I was OLD. I was ready to die, didn't really see much purpose in life, as I felt that I had nothing more to offer. While we do age and get older, I think that the term, middle age is actually obsolete. Look at women like Madonna, Cher and Tina Turner. All of them are older than me, but I've aged more. It's not about plastic surgery or money - I just point them out because we are all familiar with who they are. I have friends who have hardly aged since high school. And then I have some that look like they're death warmed over. It's all about attitude. I think I'm rejuvenating as the years go on.. :) - that's a good thing!

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Hmmmm, middle age...

I'm 38 - so approaching the 40 mark, what I used to think of as "middle aged" (given that everyone in my family has passed by their 80s)

If I look at it from the empty-nester standpoint, my olddest graduates this year, my youngest in (wow - gotta do math here) 2021 - YIKES! I'll be 50 - so that puts me right in the middle I guess - not a bad way to look at it.

I'm not so much worried about "middle-aged" or "senior citizen" anymore.

I look at my husband's parents (who cannot sit still, especially his Dad). Ever since his Dad's retirement from flying with AirTran he now volunteers at: The Humane Society, the local hospital, and is a CASA worker - and my MIL is right there with him since she is a retired nurse. AND she is a 5 year breast cancer survivor. They also both do Dragon boat racing.

My parents are just entering their 60s, but have many health issues. Hubby's parents however - being so active always seemed the same age if not younger than my parents. But it hit me the other day - FIL is in his late 70s!!! and MIL is will turn 70 this next year. "Senior Citizen" soooooo does not apply to them!


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it's weird to think about me being middle-aged. There is a woman on the Biggest Loser this season who is 49 and everyone is calling her, 'the old grandmother'...I don't really get that. She is only eight years older than i am. But somehow she 'looks' old, moves 'old'...

It might be one of those internal things - how you see yourself.

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Hi all,
I can fully relate. At 42, I neither look nor feel my age. 30 threw me for more of a loop, but I had a good life and celebrated it with typical "Gen-X" sentiments, i.e. "Gen-Xers don't get old; it's too much like work". It helped that I was carded on my B-day.

I still have a great life and take good care of myself (sunscreen, diet, exercise) and when 40 rolled around, I took that sky dive I always wanted. My husband treated me to a day at the spa, my first time.

Facebook has afforded the opportunity to peek at others I went to school with, and there is a dramatic difference between how some have aged.

I always had a good example of "aging". Unfortunately, my mother died of cancer at 47 and she grieved that she would never have the opportunity to grow old. Looking at my dad, he at 82 is in better physical shape and is as resilient as any 30-year-old.

Numerically, "middle age" applies to me; however, I'm not there mentally. A perpetual kid inside, I matured but haven't "aged" in that sense. DH, at 46, is youthful while his peers haven't fared so well.

I know I'll be the same person once getting older becomes more apparent, and I expect that to happen at some point. Until then, and beyond, I will do my best to be who I am, Just Like Dad. And as Mom would have wanted.


Last edited by Lori9; 10/14/09 02:48 PM.

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Lori, sounds like we have a lot in common!

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It's true, we can all observe how different people age. As bystanders, we all can clearly see what most people are doing that keeps them young - I love Jack La Lane. When I was 5, my mother used to exercise with him - he was on tv. I'm talkin' like 1965. I don't know if it was just because I was 5, but my memory of him was that he looked old even then. However, that little ballet lookin' feller - That's another thing, he didn't dress in sweats, he was in a leotard looking outfit with ballet looking slippers. - Remember, I'm giving you the memory of me at 5! - Anyways, as I was saying - while I've grown up, he's merely gotten more years under his belt, but I have little doubt that on the basis of fitness, he's much younger than me. Unlike Lori, I like living dangerously - no sunscreen, sweets until I puke, and if I could find an alternative for getting up to go to the bathroom - I wouldn't exercise at all. Ok, I exaggerate...a little....

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There really is a huge range of when someone dies of old age, so I think there should be an equally wide range for midlife. I know intellectually that I am midlife-ish (resistant to the end!), I'm 48,so no young chick. But - middle aged, that doesn't seem to fit the spirit. The body, yeah - I'm not in the best of shape (I'm working on improving that, though), lots of aches and pains, need reading glasses (just got them, but really needed them for a year or two.) My only child is in college - yet I feel youngish. I feel like my parents are middle-aged, yet they are 76.

OTOH, my fil died at 78... And it really was old age for him - his body had worn out, he was tired of fighting, it was his time. But although when I was a kid, it would have seemed old, it now seems so - young!

Perhaps midlife is something you can only recognize once you are past it.

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